video; un: lux

[dealwiththe]

[ If anyone has been looking for Lucifer for the past several-ish days, he’s been totally incommunicado. Not around the ship, not in his cabin on floor 2, not responding to any messages left for him. But he’s not gone.

Now he’s back, in fact! Today he’s in a cabin, and he’s… shirtless. And his hair is a bit mussed, bordering on curly, rather than its usual perfectly-coiffed state. You’re welcome! And, frankly, he looks a hell of a lot more relaxed than he did the last time he showed his face on the network - he’d been almost manic before, a slightly sharp edge to the smiles that never quite reached his eyes. Now, however, he’s chill. Easy. The smile is maybe less bright, but more genuine, the corners of his eyes crinkled with it. ]

If there’s still anyone suffering from an inability to speak, I have a suggestion to make! Have you tried orgasms?

[ He looks very smug about something. And then a female voice can be heard off-camera, one that no one on the ship will recognize except for Miss Lopez. An exasperated “Lucifer!”

He only looks more smug, if that’s possible. ]

Right. Coming, Detective!

[ See what he did there? And he turns off the video feed before anyone can catch a glimpse of the mysterious Detective. ]

Comments

UN: Presage | Audio

[albatrossomen]

Ah, the mystery behind your sudden absence on the network is now resolved. Curing the afflicted are we?

['Detective,' this must be another person from Lucifer's world. Well then, glad to see he's looking a little less manic about the whole thing. The universe doing something "kind" is suspicious though.]

Also audio!!! Weird!!!

[dealwiththe]

[ The response comes after a short period of time, and it’s audio-only, possibly in deference to the still-mysterious Detective! ]

What can I say? I’m a giver.

- of wisdom!

[ He hastily adds that at the end, again possibly for the benefit of her. ]

SUSPICION

[albatrossomen]

[Well look, or rather listen, to you, Lucifer! Having manners. How unexpected! This must be an important human. Probably human, Murmur can't imagine a Celestial detective that this particular Lucifer would be fond enough of to be polite about.]

Of course, wisdom. [Amusement in his tone.]

I was beginning to wonder if we'd have to send out a search party.

[dealwiththe]

[ TO BE FAIR, Lucifer has been and always will be a very well-mannered lover, regardless of partner! But yes, it's true, this one is special. Important. The most important. When she tells Lucifer to jump, his only question is "how high?" ]

Miss me already? I can't blame you. But my girlfriend arrived, so I've been busy.

[ Oh gosh, he gets to call her that now!!!! How exciting!!! ]

[albatrossomen]

[What a good devil. More should aspire to Lucifer's level of decency. Which is a weird statement to think.]

Not often do we receive a new passenger as gregarious as yourself, the sudden silence was noted.

[That's his excuse. It was mostly curiosity, with a very minor side of mild concern just in case something had happened. Strange things do occur after all.]

Ah, well. That I can certainly understand. Will you be introducing her after the two of you are done with your reunions?

[Aw, how disgustingly sweet. One might feel some tooth rotting happening.]

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer is oblivious to any disgust or tooth-rotting that may occur due to his happiness. That's certainly not his problem! ]

Oh, she's fully capable of introducing herself whenever she's ready.

[ She's capable of a n y t h i n g. ]

Her name is Chloe Decker, and she has the finest set of - [ He stops himself, then clears his throat and changes tracks. ] - that is, the finest combination of mind and heart I've ever known.

[ Nice save. Has the added bonus of being true! ]

[albatrossomen]

[Fortunately Murmur is immune to cavities, so he will survive this. Others may need be wary of diabetes.]

I imagine. Should her voice remain returned.

[Something he's sure Lucifer is going to uh, keep working on for the time being. At least they don't have to worry about Nephilim. The halt where Lucifer was almost impolite about her did earn something of a snorted sound of amusement.

Yeah he can guess where that was about to go.]

Well, she does sound like something truly impressive. I am eager to meet the woman who has stolen Lucifer's heart.

[dealwiththe]

[ He scoffs faintly. Almost to himself, glancing offscreen - presumably at the Detective in question, given how his face goes all soft and his eyes basically turn heart-shaped. ]

The real mystery is what in the hell I ever did to steal hers.

[ A rare moment of unbridled honesty. An astute goddess once pointed out that he is different when he’s with Chloe. How true!

Anyway, he shakes his head and grins. ]

It might be a few days yet.

[ But also still always himself. ]

[albatrossomen]

[The faintest hint of amusement filters through.]

Careful, you're beginning to leak sap.

[Is that a joke? It's hard to tell with how monotone he is but it might just be. It's interesting, to see this foreign Lucifer so very human and so very in love. Perhaps there is hope for his own brethren yet.]

Perhaps should we ever find ourselves a way off this adventure I'll consider hiring you as a motivational speaker for my own brethren. They could use your level of insight.

[That one is less likely to be a joke.]

Of course. There is hardly any rush.

[dealwiththe]

That's not the only thing that's been leaking.

[ Yeah, still himself! He makes a face at that suggestion, though. ]

Oof, that sounds like a terrible gig, no thanks. I've enough trouble with my own siblings back home. Or so I hear.

[albatrossomen]

[He's not sure if Lucifer is trying to gross him out or not but it hasn't worked. Murmur's well aware of the human reproductive practice, thank you. He just doesn't participate.]

On second thought, they'd probably try to kill you before you opened your mouth. Perhaps I'll ask for a recording to play on a loudspeaker I have no intention of being anywhere near instead.

[dealwiththe]

The Detective is a much better motivational speaker, but she's not going anywhere near the Heavenly Host for a very, very long time thankyouverymuch.

[albatrossomen]

Collaborative speech?

[Far away from any actual angels, of course.]

[devilsheel]

The last thing Lucifer needs is a search party.

[ yes, that’s decker speaking up from somewhere in the background. Or maybe this is coming in later. Who knows!! ]

[albatrossomen]

[Time is but a construct.]

Ah! A pleasure to make your acquaintance. No, I see you have things well in hand.

[devilsheel]

[ time is a lie. ]

In some ways, yes.

I’d say I’m surprised he brought this to the public network, but I’m not. It’s a very Lucifer thing to do.

[albatrossomen]

While I admit he is vastly different from the Lucifer I have knowledge of...

It is still a distinctly Lucifer thing to do.

[devilsheel]

What knowledge would that be?

[albatrossomen]

We are similar in the form of our existence, though distanced by universes.

That, and I did serve him. Indirectly, servant of his servant if you will.

[In other words: Hi, another angel.]

[devilsheel]

I’m not going to have to worry about getting involved in any celestial funny business, am I?

[albatrossomen]

Oh no, we have already resolved that minor conflict. He is remarkably easy to goad into a fight.

[devilsheel]

[ Chloe gives Lucifer the slow squint. ]

Why would you do that in the first place?

[dealwiththe]

That was one time!

[only kind of here]

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer is sort of snickering in the background, because he’s twelve. It’s best to ignore him. ]

Oh, she’s got me well in hand, yes.

[albatrossomen]

[It's a good thing he's only a prude in practice.]

What do yo-

...No. Never mind. I see I have made a linguistic error.