video; un: lux

[dealwiththe]

[ If anyone has been looking for Lucifer for the past several-ish days, he’s been totally incommunicado. Not around the ship, not in his cabin on floor 2, not responding to any messages left for him. But he’s not gone.

Now he’s back, in fact! Today he’s in a cabin, and he’s… shirtless. And his hair is a bit mussed, bordering on curly, rather than its usual perfectly-coiffed state. You’re welcome! And, frankly, he looks a hell of a lot more relaxed than he did the last time he showed his face on the network - he’d been almost manic before, a slightly sharp edge to the smiles that never quite reached his eyes. Now, however, he’s chill. Easy. The smile is maybe less bright, but more genuine, the corners of his eyes crinkled with it. ]

If there’s still anyone suffering from an inability to speak, I have a suggestion to make! Have you tried orgasms?

[ He looks very smug about something. And then a female voice can be heard off-camera, one that no one on the ship will recognize except for Miss Lopez. An exasperated “Lucifer!”

He only looks more smug, if that’s possible. ]

Right. Coming, Detective!

[ See what he did there? And he turns off the video feed before anyone can catch a glimpse of the mysterious Detective. ]

Comments

[devilsheel]

I’m not going to have to worry about getting involved in any celestial funny business, am I?

[albatrossomen]

Oh no, we have already resolved that minor conflict. He is remarkably easy to goad into a fight.

[devilsheel]

[ Chloe gives Lucifer the slow squint. ]

Why would you do that in the first place?

[dealwiththe]

That was one time!

[devilsheel]

There is no such thing as a one time thing.

[dealwiththe]

This one was!

Look, I’d just arrived here - a disorientating experience as it is. But direct from Hell? I wasn’t in a good place, Detective.

[ But obviously he’s better now! ]

[devilsheel]

Okay. Okay, that’s fair.

So, which one of you should I ask on who started it?

[albatrossomen]

I instigated.

[devilsheel]

Now for my next question: why?

[albatrossomen]

I desired to test his willingness to destroy. To guage whether not he posed a threat to the mortals here.

I have grown rather attached.

[devilsheel]

Let me get this straight — you instigated a fight with mortals close by to be sure he wasn’t a threat to said mortals… while still putting those mortals in harm’s way?

Mm.

[albatrossomen]

Not quite. I instigated a fight to see how quickly he would go for the kill to decide whether or not I would thrust him or the both of us into the void of space to perish. Depending on the severity of circumstance.

[He always has backup plans.]

[dealwiththe]

He did, of course.

[ Depending on what you mean by “started”. ]

[devilsheel]

Imagine my surprise.

[dealwiththe]

I know! He could’ve offered to help!

[ Trying to throw Mur under the bus, here. ]

[devilsheel]

You must’ve given him a good reason not to.

[not here]

[albatrossomen]

[Wow!]

[albatrossomen]

There is much to be learned about someone's character by taking a punch.

For one, he did not immediately try to rip out my heart! He's quite restrained.

[devilsheel]

Oh, really? So what you’re saying is that we’re doing this introduction thing wrong.

Do I punch you? Or do you wanna go and try me?

[albatrossomen]

I am forbidden from causing harm to a mortal. If you feel punching me is necessary I shall oblige.

[devilsheel]

I mean, sure, yeah I’m totally a mortal. But that’s funny, almost, a celestial forbidden from hurting a mortal.

It’s a first.

[albatrossomen]

Is it? Are there no such decrees upon those of your world? Granted, I will admit whether or not commands are obeyed is another conversation entirely.

[devilsheel]

[ GRIMACE. ]

Sorry. Guess the sarcasm didn’t go through as clear as I’d hoped.

Anyway. I wish I could say that I can’t speak for the others but. There’s been a few incidents that I’ve witnessed.

[albatrossomen]

Oh. Apologies, occasionally the nuances of modern mortal speech patterns are lost on me.

[He's trying okay?]

That is, sadly, unsurprising. Further reason why it is typically best we stay out of mortal affairs.

[devilsheel]

Maybe you’ll pick it up the longer you hang around us?

[ Maaayybbeeee? ]

Yeah, that whole super strength thing you guys have going for you… probably for the better that you stayed out of things. But on the other hand, I also know that it isn’t as easy as that.

It can’t be helped.