video; un: lux

[dealwiththe]

[ If anyone has been looking for Lucifer for the past several-ish days, he’s been totally incommunicado. Not around the ship, not in his cabin on floor 2, not responding to any messages left for him. But he’s not gone.

Now he’s back, in fact! Today he’s in a cabin, and he’s… shirtless. And his hair is a bit mussed, bordering on curly, rather than its usual perfectly-coiffed state. You’re welcome! And, frankly, he looks a hell of a lot more relaxed than he did the last time he showed his face on the network - he’d been almost manic before, a slightly sharp edge to the smiles that never quite reached his eyes. Now, however, he’s chill. Easy. The smile is maybe less bright, but more genuine, the corners of his eyes crinkled with it. ]

If there’s still anyone suffering from an inability to speak, I have a suggestion to make! Have you tried orgasms?

[ He looks very smug about something. And then a female voice can be heard off-camera, one that no one on the ship will recognize except for Miss Lopez. An exasperated “Lucifer!”

He only looks more smug, if that’s possible. ]

Right. Coming, Detective!

[ See what he did there? And he turns off the video feed before anyone can catch a glimpse of the mysterious Detective. ]

Comments

UN: Presage | Audio

[albatrossomen]

Ah, the mystery behind your sudden absence on the network is now resolved. Curing the afflicted are we?

['Detective,' this must be another person from Lucifer's world. Well then, glad to see he's looking a little less manic about the whole thing. The universe doing something "kind" is suspicious though.]

Also audio!!! Weird!!!

[dealwiththe]

[ The response comes after a short period of time, and it’s audio-only, possibly in deference to the still-mysterious Detective! ]

What can I say? I’m a giver.

- of wisdom!

[ He hastily adds that at the end, again possibly for the benefit of her. ]

SUSPICION

[albatrossomen]

[Well look, or rather listen, to you, Lucifer! Having manners. How unexpected! This must be an important human. Probably human, Murmur can't imagine a Celestial detective that this particular Lucifer would be fond enough of to be polite about.]

Of course, wisdom. [Amusement in his tone.]

I was beginning to wonder if we'd have to send out a search party.

[dealwiththe]

[ TO BE FAIR, Lucifer has been and always will be a very well-mannered lover, regardless of partner! But yes, it's true, this one is special. Important. The most important. When she tells Lucifer to jump, his only question is "how high?" ]

Miss me already? I can't blame you. But my girlfriend arrived, so I've been busy.

[ Oh gosh, he gets to call her that now!!!! How exciting!!! ]

[albatrossomen]

[What a good devil. More should aspire to Lucifer's level of decency. Which is a weird statement to think.]

Not often do we receive a new passenger as gregarious as yourself, the sudden silence was noted.

[That's his excuse. It was mostly curiosity, with a very minor side of mild concern just in case something had happened. Strange things do occur after all.]

Ah, well. That I can certainly understand. Will you be introducing her after the two of you are done with your reunions?

[Aw, how disgustingly sweet. One might feel some tooth rotting happening.]

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer is oblivious to any disgust or tooth-rotting that may occur due to his happiness. That's certainly not his problem! ]

Oh, she's fully capable of introducing herself whenever she's ready.

[ She's capable of a n y t h i n g. ]

Her name is Chloe Decker, and she has the finest set of - [ He stops himself, then clears his throat and changes tracks. ] - that is, the finest combination of mind and heart I've ever known.

[ Nice save. Has the added bonus of being true! ]

[anormie]

[dealwiththe]

I was in Hell!

[relance]

Damn, I shoulda thought of that. I'll need to make the invitation now.

pointedly switches to audio!!!

[dealwiththe]

To be fair, an orgasm is a good suggestion for nearly any problem, in my experience!

[anormie]

You weren't before you went there! Crushing my hashtag Deckerstar dreams!

[dealwiththe]

[ There's some sputtering and scoffing. ]

Yes - well - but - it was complicated!

[relance]

I mean, you're not wrong there.

[dealwiththe]

A woman after my own heart! I'll tell the Detective she's outnumbered.

[anormie]

Still about damn time, Lucifer!

[relance]

You call your lover 'the Detective?'

[dealwiththe]

[ SIGH. But - now he's clearly smiling, probably because he's looking at Chloe. Awwww. ]

Yes, it is.

[dealwiththe]

Yes, because that's what she is. It's endearing!

[anormie]

And I'm so freaking glad, dude!

[dealwiththe]

Well, that makes three of us. Strange enough circumstances, all things considered, but far be it for me to look a gift space ship in the mouth.

Oh, though I do have a question for you, Miss Lopez. You seem to be aware of events in the future that I simply haven't experienced yet, and the Detective was rather upset when she first arrived. She claims that I'd just been - injured.

[ Okay so she seems to think Lucifer was actually dead but he's trying to not freak anybody out here. Just trying to piece events together. ]

Did anything like that happen in your timeline?

[relance]

That's kind of adorable.

[dealwiththe]

Is it? I hadn't noticed.

[ Okay that might be almost a lie. As close as he ever comes, anyway. Which is to say - sarcasm. But light! Happy sarcasm! ]

[anormie]

You'd just been injured?

[Ella just frowns as she thinks of it.]

Not that I know of. I mean you were acting weird and stuff and you were upset with yourself because of the whole not listening to Chloe about the Whisper Killer thing when you found her missing, but I would have remembered if you'd been hurt then.

[Cause you know the whole hitting him thing.]

[relance]

Nauseating, really.

[Happy sarcasm in return!]

[albatrossomen]

[Fortunately Murmur is immune to cavities, so he will survive this. Others may need be wary of diabetes.]

I imagine. Should her voice remain returned.

[Something he's sure Lucifer is going to uh, keep working on for the time being. At least they don't have to worry about Nephilim. The halt where Lucifer was almost impolite about her did earn something of a snorted sound of amusement.

Yeah he can guess where that was about to go.]

Well, she does sound like something truly impressive. I am eager to meet the woman who has stolen Lucifer's heart.