eyemind | video; un: lux

[ If anyone has been looking for Lucifer for the past several-ish days, he’s been totally incommunicado. Not around the ship, not in his cabin on floor 2, not responding to any messages left for him. But he’s not gone.

Now he’s back, in fact! Today he’s in a cabin, and he’s… shirtless. And his hair is a bit mussed, bordering on curly, rather than its usual perfectly-coiffed state. You’re welcome! And, frankly, he looks a hell of a lot more relaxed than he did the last time he showed his face on the network - he’d been almost manic before, a slightly sharp edge to the smiles that never quite reached his eyes. Now, however, he’s chill. Easy. The smile is maybe less bright, but more genuine, the corners of his eyes crinkled with it. ]

If there’s still anyone suffering from an inability to speak, I have a suggestion to make! Have you tried orgasms?

[ He looks very smug about something. And then a female voice can be heard off-camera, one that no one on the ship will recognize except for Miss Lopez. An exasperated “Lucifer!”

He only looks more smug, if that’s possible. ]

Right. Coming, Detective!

[ See what he did there? And he turns off the video feed before anyone can catch a glimpse of the mysterious Detective. ]

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[ SIGH. But - now he's clearly smiling, probably because he's looking at Chloe. Awwww. ]

Yes, it is.

And I'm so freaking glad, dude!

Well, that makes three of us. Strange enough circumstances, all things considered, but far be it for me to look a gift space ship in the mouth.

Oh, though I do have a question for you, Miss Lopez. You seem to be aware of events in the future that I simply haven't experienced yet, and the Detective was rather upset when she first arrived. She claims that I'd just been - injured.

[ Okay so she seems to think Lucifer was actually dead but he's trying to not freak anybody out here. Just trying to piece events together. ]

Did anything like that happen in your timeline?

You'd just been injured?

[Ella just frowns as she thinks of it.]

Not that I know of. I mean you were acting weird and stuff and you were upset with yourself because of the whole not listening to Chloe about the Whisper Killer thing when you found her missing, but I would have remembered if you'd been hurt then.

[Cause you know the whole hitting him thing.]

Hm. And she hasn't said anything about being kidnapped. Not that we've been - well.

[ Talking is good, but sex is better. They've been having a lot of sex. ]

Regardless, I'm just trying to piece together events! At least you and the Detective agree about my return from Hell.

[Does Ella have a very stupid grin on her face at that, because of course she does. She's just so glad that the two of them got their asses into gear here.]

Maybe if she hasn't said anything about being kidnapped, then I've got to be later than her, right?

Or she could be far enough in the future that her kidnapping isn't even worth her mentioning?

What was the date for you? Time works differently in Hell, so it's a bit muddled.

Uh, it's like August 8th, 2019 I think. Stuff gets a little muddled there. They kinda sent me home after you guys found Chloe.

Duly noted, thank you. I'm sure we'll get this sorted. I'm definitely not planning to die. Again.

You sure better not.

[Is that a firm Ella Lopez voice? Y e p! But also:]

Wait. Die again?

Yes, twice. I’m not really keen to do it again.

What? Lucifer how can you die? I mean Lux seemed like you were gonna die with Eve there [ When she made out with Eve and still not unpacking that.]

But you said that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. How come you can die?

Only when the Detective is around. That is, I'm usually invulnerable to human means of harm, but, as you saw at Lux, when she's nearby, I'm essentially mortal. Once the EMTs got me out to the street, she was still inside taking statements - well, I got better rather quickly.

[ He says that like he's talking about something totally mundane and ordinary, like the weather. No big deal. ]

[So Ella is just gonna like entirely stare at him for a moment before she speaks.]

What the hell? Why? How?

[Of course Ella is going to ask--she is a scientist after all.]

[ Lucifer shrugs expressively. ]

It's been that way almost as long as I've known her. I assume it's got something to do with the fact that she's a miracle. Presumably that's also why she's the only human immune to my mojo.

I'm sorry, she's a what? Like in the literal biblical sense?

Yes, I suppose she is. She was born because my Father had Amenadiel bless her parents.

And no, that doesn’t make Amenadiel her father.

Duh of course he’s not her dad. That’s not how it works. I was going to be a nun remember?

…and lucky for all of us that you went in a different direction.

[ Especially him. ]

Humans are very easily confused about things like that. Not that I can blame you; it’s not as if Dad goes in for the miracles much these days. Or ever, as far as I know.

Wait so Chloe is like... his first miracle since Jesus? Why?

I don't know, and I don't know. To know any of that, He'd have to be willing to speak to literally anyone and explain Himself. If He was going to, it certainly wouldn't be to me.

Wow. He's such a dick. If he ever showed up, I'd ask him.

[Of course she would if she could.

And probably hit him with a shoe if she got it.]

[ The being she professes to worship, the being she has devoted such faith to, and she's calling Him a dick. Will wonders never cease. ]

Well, He won't, so. You won't find yourself in that conundrum.

[ Probably for the best. ]

[Ella wants to believe that the Big Guy is good, but it's hard because Ella knows Lucifer. And she knows how hard things can be for him sometimes, and now she knows what he's been hiding in plain sight. It's easier to accept that there's some sort of plan for when bad things happen than it is that God can do that to his son who is good.

And Ella will fight Lucifer if he thinks he's not. She's tiny and scrappy and wears big shoes.]

I mean, if he does though.

If He ever did, I'd pay good money to see it.

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anormie - 2021-07-25 18:40 (UTC) - Expand