eyemind | video; un: lux

[ If anyone has been looking for Lucifer for the past several-ish days, he’s been totally incommunicado. Not around the ship, not in his cabin on floor 2, not responding to any messages left for him. But he’s not gone.

Now he’s back, in fact! Today he’s in a cabin, and he’s… shirtless. And his hair is a bit mussed, bordering on curly, rather than its usual perfectly-coiffed state. You’re welcome! And, frankly, he looks a hell of a lot more relaxed than he did the last time he showed his face on the network - he’d been almost manic before, a slightly sharp edge to the smiles that never quite reached his eyes. Now, however, he’s chill. Easy. The smile is maybe less bright, but more genuine, the corners of his eyes crinkled with it. ]

If there’s still anyone suffering from an inability to speak, I have a suggestion to make! Have you tried orgasms?

[ He looks very smug about something. And then a female voice can be heard off-camera, one that no one on the ship will recognize except for Miss Lopez. An exasperated “Lucifer!”

He only looks more smug, if that’s possible. ]

Right. Coming, Detective!

[ See what he did there? And he turns off the video feed before anyone can catch a glimpse of the mysterious Detective. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I am forbidden from causing harm to a mortal. If you feel punching me is necessary I shall oblige.

Edited 2021-06-30 17:57 (UTC)

I mean, sure, yeah I’m totally a mortal. But that’s funny, almost, a celestial forbidden from hurting a mortal.

It’s a first.

Is it? Are there no such decrees upon those of your world? Granted, I will admit whether or not commands are obeyed is another conversation entirely.

[ GRIMACE. ]

Sorry. Guess the sarcasm didn’t go through as clear as I’d hoped.

Anyway. I wish I could say that I can’t speak for the others but. There’s been a few incidents that I’ve witnessed.

Oh. Apologies, occasionally the nuances of modern mortal speech patterns are lost on me.

[He's trying okay?]

That is, sadly, unsurprising. Further reason why it is typically best we stay out of mortal affairs.

Maybe you’ll pick it up the longer you hang around us?

[ Maaayybbeeee? ]

Yeah, that whole super strength thing you guys have going for you… probably for the better that you stayed out of things. But on the other hand, I also know that it isn’t as easy as that.

It can’t be helped.

Likely, I have adjusted before I shall adjust again. In fact, I was even taught the word "normie", very versatile. A delightfully succinct term.

[He thinks slang is great.]

The strength, the reality bending, the tendency to become overzealous rather swiftly. Our forms have also been something of a stumbling block.

There is a balance to be struck between... well maintaining the balance. Keeping to our duties without overstepping free will or devastatingly altering the course of humanity is a delicate process. One that a legion of warriors is not particularly well equipped to handle.

That’s why I’m a lover, not a fighter!

[ Heh heh heh. ]

Hm, perhaps that is why you seem better suited overall to communicating with them.

[At least as far as he can tell. Murmur is a bit robotic after all.]

Not everyone can have my charm and magnetism.

Would that not be a terribly boring existence, if you were not the most charming in the room?

Oh, very.

"Normie"? Did you happen to meet someone named Ella Lopez?

I have! She's my partner, in fact. Although I must confess I had learned the term before our meeting from another. Perhaps I shall ask her to teach me other useful new words.

Humans have ever had a delightful way with language.

I guess that comes with how things evolve over the years. But hold on, Ella is your partner? Does she, y'know, know? About you?

Yes. She had the unenviable pleasure of breaking up the spat between Lucifer and myself. I honestly cannot say I have ever been hit with a shoe before! Even without that, however, it would be difficult to disguise given our...

Circumstances.

[Sharing a psychic link will do that.]

I still can't believe she didn't try to jump into space after what she saw. She definitely handled it a lot better than I did.

But ah, yeah. The shoe. Be glad it was only the shoe.

All things considered she truly did handle the situation remarkably well. It isn't often mortals handle it with such grace... though I am confused. Lucifer does not strike me as the deceptive type, did he not inform you who he was immediately? Or was it simply a matter of disbelief?

[He's used to the latter, honestly.

Wait.]

There's something worse than the shoe?

Lucifer never lies. That's the thing about him. But yeah, yeah he did tell me. He told everyone and anyone who would listen. It's just... Yeah. We all thought he was a paid actor, someone who just loved speaking in metaphors. Didn't realize it was a literal thing.

Uh, maybe? She's only ever used the shoe. Did she swear in Spanish?

It isn't a terrible tactic. Leaning into the human tendency to doubt and disregard that which does not immediately comport to their perception of reality can be quite beneficial in maintaining one's disguise. Or, alternatively, can be highly entertaining. Though I sincerely doubt either of those were on his mind while he proceeded to completely disregard any sense of propriety.

[Again, just Lucifer things.]

Uhm... yes, yes she did. Though not at me, that fury was reserved for Lucifer himself. I took the opportunity to leave.

[Murmur is not afraid to admit that he will absolutely abscond from a fight.]