network } audio; un: panoptes

[sisterswitch]

Hey, everyone - Jack here. Or, I guess some of you might know me as “that evil lying bitch from Dualis who only cares about herself.”

[ahem, that’d be jane. not that jack’s still holding a grudge or anything.]

Anyway, the important thing here is that Navi asked me to pass on a message to the group, which is that they’ve picked up on a passenger who is in a great deal of distress but too far away to get a clear link of communication. In other words, one of our merry little band is missing and having an aggressively bad time way out in the woods.

So, consider this a roll call. Time is meaningless out here in the void, so nobody knows if it’s 10 o’clock, but do you know where your partner is? Who’s missing, and who wants to go rescue them from the big bad scary possibly haunted forest?

Comments

[betterhavemammoney]

Hey, I'm not the one who brought the kinky stuff up!

[albatrossomen]

You do realize leashes are not necessarily intended for those purposes, right? In fact, that is not even the intent behind their design.

[betterhavemammoney]

What else would it be for? There's no dogs here!

[albatrossomen]

...Oh. You really are an idiot.

How disappointing.

[betterhavemammoney]

How am I the idiot, huh?! If there ain't a dog, then a leash is kinky!

[albatrossomen]

Jack has explained it to you. If you continue to be unable to comprehend I am afraid there is no help for you.

[betterhavemammoney]

Seriously? You're just lookin' for an excuse to be mean now.

[albatrossomen]

You haven't made it particularly difficult. I see we're deflecting now. It's unfortunate your observational skills are so lacking.

Nevertheless, perhaps you should focus on something other than your wounded pride for the time being.

[betterhavemammoney]

You don't get to tell me what to do! I bet anythin' that I outrank ya!

[albatrossomen]

It was a suggestion, not an order.

And while I do not concede one way or another to your assertion, I fail to see how that point holds any merit whatsoever. Particularly considering we are of distinctly opposing factions.

[betterhavemammoney]

It means I don't need suggestions from an angel!

[albatrossomen]

[Oh you loud-mouthed-]

Do you have no self control?

[Hissed icily.]

[betterhavemammoney]

No!

[He says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.]

[albatrossomen]

[In retrospect it is.]

Try exercising some.

[Idiot.]

[betterhavemammoney]

There ya go tellin' me what to do again! And I still ain't gonna listen!

[albatrossomen]

If you're going to go running your mouth perhaps I'll need to reconsider my decision not to throw you out of an airlock.

[Murmur doesn't usually throw threats around, but Mammon is special.]

[betterhavemammoney]

D'ya REALLY think I ain't been through worse than that? Please. I fell out of the Celestial Realm and into the Devildom. An airlock doesn't scare me.

[albatrossomen]

Then perhaps the cold void of space will teach you some discretion.

[betterhavemammoney]

I don't need discretion!

[sisterswitch]

Some parents choose to use a special harness and leash to keep their unruly children from wandering off.

[obviously.]

And since I apparently need to spell this out for you - I'm not flirting with you, I don't think you're a girl, and I am not in any way romantically interested in you.

[betterhavemammoney]

[Not super obvious to someone who spends precisely no time around children, as they don't have a large presence in the Devildom.] Not my thing. AND I got no kids so why would I need that?

Then why were ya flirting with me?

[sisterswitch]

In case you missed it, Jon Snow, your partner is a child. You know, it really kills the joke if I have to explain it to you like you’re five.

[she could get irritated about his insistence that she’s flirting with him - but why be annoyed when she could be a troll instead?]

I just wanted to confuse you. Looks like it’s working, huh? And it didn’t even take much.

[betterhavemammoney]

Shaun's just like that. [He hasn't looked too closely at the human on the video, who is still recognizably Shaun to him.] And I'm not a papa, don't even joke about it.

[Mammon is the most amazing and handsome! At least, he chooses to keep believing that, and thus Jack's perceived attempt at messing with him is laughable. He laughs.]

Hey, you're gonna have to do better than that to really throw me off my game.

[sisterswitch]

Good enough for me, sweetie. Now, are you going to help us track down our missing shipmate or do you have your hands full with wrangling your child?

[if he's gonna be dense about the flirting thing, jack is absolutely going to keep insinuating that shaun is mammon's kiddo.]

[betterhavemammoney]

I don't have a child! I got Shaun and he ain't missin'!