network } audio; un: panoptes

[sisterswitch]

Hey, everyone - Jack here. Or, I guess some of you might know me as “that evil lying bitch from Dualis who only cares about herself.”

[ahem, that’d be jane. not that jack’s still holding a grudge or anything.]

Anyway, the important thing here is that Navi asked me to pass on a message to the group, which is that they’ve picked up on a passenger who is in a great deal of distress but too far away to get a clear link of communication. In other words, one of our merry little band is missing and having an aggressively bad time way out in the woods.

So, consider this a roll call. Time is meaningless out here in the void, so nobody knows if it’s 10 o’clock, but do you know where your partner is? Who’s missing, and who wants to go rescue them from the big bad scary possibly haunted forest?

Comments

[albatrossomen]

[Deep breath. Compose. This is hardly becoming of the angel with an icy disposition.]

Again I am overestimating your cerebral capacity. I'll make it simple for you.

In regards to you, I care not. I would appreciate it if you would remain silent in regards to me.

[There. He's being nice. Can you appreciate nice noisy demon?]

[betterhavemammoney]

What's it worth to ya?

[albatrossomen]

No.

[He's not doing this. He knows what you are, he's not playing this game.]

[betterhavemammoney]

[If you know what he is, you know how effective a bribe can be!]

Guess I don't have to keep it to myself then. Your choice.

[albatrossomen]

[He does, he also knows it's always a trick.]

Very well, go ahead. Knock yourself out.

[Literally, please.



This is so going to bite him on the ass but he will not buckle to this imbecile.]

[betterhavemammoney]

[It would've bought his silence! That just wouldn't mean much, given he just announced it.]

Fine! I'm gonna tell everyone!

[sisterswitch]

Sweetie, I’d shut up unless you want to spend the rest of your days as a rose bush.

[betterhavemammoney]

Wait, why a rose bush?

[sisterswitch]

Why not a rose bush? Roses are pretty, and they don’t talk. Plus, you can cut the roses off the bush and give them to people you like. I imagine that’d be like having your head chopped off, and your arms, while you’re stuck in the ground. Then the roses grow back, and you get to do it all over again!

[she sounds awfully chipper for basically threatening torture.]

[betterhavemammoney]

[Mammon pauses. It's not the first time he's been threatened with torture, even though that's a threat even Lucifer would be proud of.

He's not scared, of course not, the Great Mammon doesn't get scared. But even he's smart enough to know that messing with a witch rarely goes well for either party.]

Pff.

What is he, your guardian angel?

[sisterswitch]

He’s my friend. And outing anyone, under any circumstances, is extremely uncool.

[betterhavemammoney]

...Not my fault he's ashamed of it.

[He's gone into surly teenager mode. Thanks for ruining his fun, Mom.]

[sisterswitch]

Shame has nothing to do with it, there are any number of reasons why someone would want to keep something about themself out of the public eye. And frankly, it’s none of your business - he doesn’t owe you an explanation. He’s asked you to keep quiet, and that should be enough for you to respect his wishes.

[betterhavemammoney]

[He stares.]

What the hell're ya talkin' about?

[Respect someone's wishes just because they asked? What kind of demon does that?!]

[sisterswitch]

I’m talking about you not being a shitstain.

[betterhavemammoney]

I'm a demon! I'm evil!

[sisterswitch]

Doesn’t mean you need to be a shitstain, too.

[betterhavemammoney]

I'm the Avatar of Greed!

[sisterswitch]

You say that like it’s a convincing argument, and it’s really not.

[betterhavemammoney]

I'm actin' exactly like I'm supposed to!

[sisterswitch]

Explain how being the Avatar of Greed has anything to do with outing Murmur. I’ll wait.

[betterhavemammoney]

He won't pay me!

[Seriously, Jack, how do you not get this?]

[sisterswitch]

So, let me get this straight. Murmur’s asked you to keep your mouth shut, and you’re extorting him because you’re a piece of shit and an arm of capitalism. Got it. Rose bush it is.

[betterhavemammoney]

Well, yeah. What'd you expect?

[It's the same argument Mammon has with Lucifer every time he gets tortured. At least this is familiar.]

[albatrossomen]

[Exactly. And then he'd just be out some form of currency or another and still exposed!

Fortunately Jack is here to take his communication device away before he can retort and become even more annoyed. Thank you Jack, for probably Saving Mammon an ejection into space this day.]