network } audio; un: panoptes

[sisterswitch]

Hey, everyone - Jack here. Or, I guess some of you might know me as “that evil lying bitch from Dualis who only cares about herself.”

[ahem, that’d be jane. not that jack’s still holding a grudge or anything.]

Anyway, the important thing here is that Navi asked me to pass on a message to the group, which is that they’ve picked up on a passenger who is in a great deal of distress but too far away to get a clear link of communication. In other words, one of our merry little band is missing and having an aggressively bad time way out in the woods.

So, consider this a roll call. Time is meaningless out here in the void, so nobody knows if it’s 10 o’clock, but do you know where your partner is? Who’s missing, and who wants to go rescue them from the big bad scary possibly haunted forest?

Comments

[betterhavemammoney]

I'm a demon! I'm evil!

[sisterswitch]

Doesn’t mean you need to be a shitstain, too.

[betterhavemammoney]

I'm the Avatar of Greed!

[sisterswitch]

You say that like it’s a convincing argument, and it’s really not.

[betterhavemammoney]

I'm actin' exactly like I'm supposed to!

[sisterswitch]

Explain how being the Avatar of Greed has anything to do with outing Murmur. I’ll wait.

[betterhavemammoney]

He won't pay me!

[Seriously, Jack, how do you not get this?]

[sisterswitch]

So, let me get this straight. Murmur’s asked you to keep your mouth shut, and you’re extorting him because you’re a piece of shit and an arm of capitalism. Got it. Rose bush it is.

[betterhavemammoney]

Well, yeah. What'd you expect?

[It's the same argument Mammon has with Lucifer every time he gets tortured. At least this is familiar.]

[sisterswitch]

And I guess you won’t mind if I put out a little announcement about you being a demon, then, right? ‘Cause based on how people reacted to the news about Slenderman, I can’t imagine that’s gonna go well for you.

[betterhavemammoney]

Go ahead! I'm way more powerful than whatever that thing you're talking about is!

[sisterswitch]

Oh, I wouldn’t worry about Slenderman getting to you.

I’d worry about the Heroes.

[betterhavemammoney]

Like who?

[sisterswitch]

Oh, I couldn’t possibly tell you that. Remember what I said earlier, about not outing people? What I will tell you is that it’s a good thing you got here when you did. If you’d shown up any earlier, it would not’ve been pretty.

[betterhavemammoney]

What happened before I got here?

[sisterswitch]

You’re familiar with the term “bloodbath,” right?

[betterhavemammoney]

Sure. Why, who died?

[sisterswitch]

You didn't think the fact that there are no other demons around was a coincidence, did you?

[she's totally making all of this up, of course. but that's probably enough trolling for now.]

Anyway, I'm gonna go clear some space in the hydroponic garden for a new rose bush before the search party heads out. I'm betting you're going to make really cute pink roses ... those are always handy in spellwork, too. And hey, when you're a rose bush, you'll never get lost! [she laughs.] Toodles.