eyemind | video; un: lux

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video; un: lux

[ Ah look, a new, and very handsome, face on the network! Enjoy your first look at Lucifer, residents of Navi. You're welcome.

He looks about forty, and sounds British, though he is of course neither. His smile, while wide and brilliant and charming, doesn't quite reach his eyes, which can best be described as "sad puppy dog brown". He's very well-dressed, though there might be a drop of blood or two on the otherwise-pristine collar of his white dress shirt - from a cut that's healing nicely on his temple. ]

Right, introductions are in order, I think. I'm Lucifer - Morningstar, yes, that one. Ruler of Hell, Satan, Beelzebub, all of that, but probably not the Devil you know. I'd rather keep the murder attempts at a minimum, they're very annoying. I don't lie, I don't kill, and I don't eat babies - that was a joke, I had no idea Dante would take me literally on that one. Milton got a little closer to the truth but the metaphors are always way off!

[ He sighs, shrugs, and pulls out a flask, taking a swig from it, then scowling at it for a moment. ]

Right, so, ask away, everyone always has questions, but I have a few as well. I don't suppose anyone has any decent liquor on board?

[ He tips the flask, and nothing comes out. He's empty. SAD TROMBONE. ]

And can we make requests? Perhaps we can try to stop off at a planet with a halfway decent piano bar next. It's been ages since I've seen the inside of one that wasn't a Hell loop.

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Have you never been to a proper human city? Millions of people all scurrying about, living their lives. Countless desires, just waiting to be drawn out.

[ Fuck, he misses it. ]

It’s all barely-controlled chaos and traffic jams.

It has been some... [He considers for a time, trying to calculate the approximation. Time moves differently in the Celestial realms.] Couple thousand years at least? Since I have spent any significant time among mortals. Even on the rare occasion that I might pop in I would typically refrain from adopting a corporeal form.

This, [He knocked on his chest with his knuckles.] is not my usual condition. Though it is effective camouflage.

[He smirks faintly. Ah, yes, that would be where Lucifer would thrive wouldn't it? Certainly better than Hell, he'd imagine. Maybe if his own world's version of Lucifer took a vacation he'd be a little less violent.]

I have been experiencing some of that on our trip here, though I try to avoid the thick of it.

[He's boring.]

[ Lucifer scoffs faintly. He is neither fazed by, nor interested in, Murmur’s non-corporeal form. He simply doesn’t see the point. ]

If all you can think about your corporeal form is “gosh, it sure does help me blend in with the natives!” Then you are doing several things very wrong.

[It's preferable to questioning or screaming, honestly. The angelic forms of his universe don't make much sense.]

Oh? Do elaborate.

Food, liquor, music, and sex. To name a few. Do you even eat?

Unless I have a need to facilitate regeneration, no. Though I have developed a fondness for tea. As for the sex: strictly forbidden upon pain of swift and immediate execution.

An event I am not eager to test.

Really. Your Dad sounds like even more of a controlling creep than mine.

[ Pfft. ]

There’s probably no decent food on this ship; we’ll have to wait until we land on a halfway decent world for some taste-testing.

You're not wrong.

[It's muttered, very quietly, because while he may be very slightly defiant he hasn't gone full rebel just yet. He'd rather talk about food than Nephilim, though.]

I would not be opposed. You're correct, most of the food on board is designed for long trips with less concern for flavor. From what I understand.

[He hasn't exactly felt the need to taste test something that looks like a cardboard brick.]

[ Lucifer is scowling. Not at Murmur, but simply at the general situation. ]

Figures. I couldn’t get snatched from Hell against my will to someplace fun, oh no.

Well, I’ll just have to keep my eyes open for opportunities for entertainment, my fine feathered friend.

[Yes, it is rather frustrating. That and the murderous AI which he should probably bring up eventually. Not right now, he'll let Lucifer settle in first.]

Unfortunately. Though, it's not all bad. There was this one world, entirely underwater! Major tourist destination, domes an the like. Fascinating place, fascinating mortals as well.

There shall be opportunity aplenty I expect. Provided we encounter no more Infernal worlds.

I can handle infernal, as long as they’re not boring.

[ As if being bored is the worst punishment he can think of. Spoiler: it’s not. But he’s okay if Murmur thinks it is. ]

Oh that was the problem. Not only were they boring, they were only mildly irritating in their chosen mode of torment. Truly the least inspired mockery of Heaven I have ever had the displeasure of laying my eyes upon.

And then they sent out the robots. Robots. Could you come up with a more cliched attempted murder? An entire planet to themselves and the best they could come up with was suburban America, soft jazz, and a distinct lack of tea kettles. Pathetic.

[Murmur could and has come up with worse but he thinks he'd like to refrain from overtly discussing his time as a demonic entity. He was... good at his job.]

Suburbia is quite a lot like some Hell loops. [ Spoken with the air of a man who is experienced in both, weirdly. ]

But I have to agree about the robots. Extremely cliched.

[Not weird at all, considering the context. If one were to ask for an example of Hell on Earth Murmur might be tempted to put suburbia somewhere within the top ten. Possibly even top five.]

Lazy, and insulting. Suffice it to say I did not take kindly to the transgression.

[ Lucifer gets a rather delighted smirk on his face. ]

Oh, I’m sensing there was some righteous wrath involved.

[Murmur inspects his nails casually.]

I buried them. Under one hundred feet of ice and blood. [A sniff, and a sip of his tea.] Perhaps that will give whatever cursed souls that survived some inspiration. For the next round.

[Faint smirk.]

Ooh, bit of a punisher in you, I see. Respect.

[ Lucifer always appreciates a good punishment for someone who really deserves it. ]

Usually I am more of an observer and record keeper, but I suppose every now and again we all get that itch.

[If anyone's going to get it, it'd be Lucifer.]

I do have to admit it was rather enjoyable to really spread my wings, so to speak.

[He's only disappointed he was whisked away too quickly to really enjoy his work. Alas.]

That little segue aside, the robots may still be something of an issue. We seem to have attracted the attention of a fairly murderous Artificial Intelligence in this region. To us, it poses little threat, to the mortals on the other hand... [A vague gesture.] Let's just say it's very good at killing them. You should probably know, since one of yours is among those trapped here.

Everyone deserves to let loose once in a while.

[ There he goes, encouraging those vices again. ]

… and duly noted. [ He’s got even more reason to keep a watchful eye over Miss Lopez, if there’s actual danger afoot. ]

Hmm.

[Murmur just looks amused. Don't encourage him, or maybe do, who knows!]

Should more signs of its presence crop up I shall endeavor to keep all apprised. Even so, some degree of caution is advised.

[Another flippant, dismissive gesture.]

Doom and gloom aside, I do not believe we are currently under dire threat. And I have some experience in handling this entity. It's more an issue of numbers, than capability. I am but one soldier against many.

[ There is literally not a cautious bone in Lucifer’s body. That’s just not a thing he’s really capable of. Oh well! ]

Well, now there are two super-strong angels about, that should even the odds a bit.

[He's more advising Lucifer to keep an eye on his human friends than necessarily himself. Reckless Celestials are fine, they don't die that easy.]

Yes, I think it just might. Glad to know you're on board.

[He's grateful for all the help he can get.]

Of course I am. Literally and figuratively, in this case. I would never allow any harm to come to Miss Lopez.

[ He tilts his head a bit. ] Actually, I’d say your stake in all this is a bit more mysterious.

Is it?

[He supposes it is.]

I suppose I could pass it off as some idle drivel about duty to protect or some other such nonsense but I don't think you'd entirely buy that excuse, would you?

Not really. In my world, angels have no duty to humanity and almost none of them care a whit for mortals at all. Amenadiel and myself are really the exceptions, because, well. We’ve found humans we care for.

[ He sees no need to be more specific, especially about himself. ]

What’s your incentive?

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