video; un: lux

[dealwiththe]

[ Ah look, a new, and very handsome, face on the network! Enjoy your first look at Lucifer, residents of Navi. You're welcome.

He looks about forty, and sounds British, though he is of course neither. His smile, while wide and brilliant and charming, doesn't quite reach his eyes, which can best be described as "sad puppy dog brown". He's very well-dressed, though there might be a drop of blood or two on the otherwise-pristine collar of his white dress shirt - from a cut that's healing nicely on his temple. ]

Right, introductions are in order, I think. I'm Lucifer - Morningstar, yes, that one. Ruler of Hell, Satan, Beelzebub, all of that, but probably not the Devil you know. I'd rather keep the murder attempts at a minimum, they're very annoying. I don't lie, I don't kill, and I don't eat babies - that was a joke, I had no idea Dante would take me literally on that one. Milton got a little closer to the truth but the metaphors are always way off!

[ He sighs, shrugs, and pulls out a flask, taking a swig from it, then scowling at it for a moment. ]

Right, so, ask away, everyone always has questions, but I have a few as well. I don't suppose anyone has any decent liquor on board?

[ He tips the flask, and nothing comes out. He's empty. SAD TROMBONE. ]

And can we make requests? Perhaps we can try to stop off at a planet with a halfway decent piano bar next. It's been ages since I've seen the inside of one that wasn't a Hell loop.

Comments

[albatrossomen]

[Oh good, the moping didn't last long.]

How generous of you.

[dealwiththe]

I am, yes.

[albatrossomen]

[He thinks he much prefers this one to the murderous psychopaths that usually make up his brethren.]

I am certain the mortals will appreciate your dedication to the cause of entertainment as well.

[dealwiththe]

They always do.

[ Have done, for eons. ]

[albatrossomen]

Tell me, what do you have planned thus far?

[He's bored and feeling chatty.]

[dealwiththe]

The classics, of course. Wine, women and song, as soon as I can get my hands on them.

If someone has a deck of cards we could add gambling to the vices on offer. Perhaps Miss Lopez could help me reenact our Vegas adventure!

[ By that he means he’d try to talk her into fleecing everyone on the ship with her card-counting trick. ]

[albatrossomen]

Only women?

[What?]

There is at least one deck of cards aboard the ship, obtaining more should be a trivial matter.

[He stole them from the embodiment of Greed.]

Dare I ask about the Vegas adventure?

[dealwiththe]

Of course not only women, it’s just a figure of speech. I also don’t limit myself to only wine.

[ Ahhh, nostalgia. ]

Miss Lopez and I solved a murder there. Actually two! And put on a show in the process. All to help my ex-wife. Long story, but I do “Luck Be a Lady” far better than Brando ever could.

[albatrossomen]

Oh good, I was concerned you'd lost your touch for a moment.

[Wine's great and all but there's so much variety out there! Not that Murmur's especially good at trying it out but he knows the humans are too inventive to settle.]

Your ex-... ah, yes, of course. That is certainly a story, were it from anyone else I might accuse you of attempting to deceive me. How, precisely, did you come to be in the business of solving homicides?

[He's tempted to ask for a show but that might be too much. They don't have enough booze to make it really entertaining yet anyway.]

[dealwiththe]

I was a civilian consultant for the LAPD. Someone I knew was murdered a few years ago - I helped find her killer, and then I just stayed on!

[ Both true and also vague as shit, leaving out some pretty important details - and one Detective. But, y’know. ]

And don’t worry - the divorce was very amicable!

[albatrossomen]

Ah, I suppose your unique talents would lend themselves well to such an endeavor. You do not seem particularly troubled by the loss of your... acquaintance?

[He didn't say friend, after all. Eventually Murmur will learn about the Detective. Someday.]

Good to hear. I know they are not the same, but I would hate to hear of a messy breakup between you two, we were on friendly terms in my own universe.

[What's an angel doing being on friendly terms with Lilith? We just don't know.]

[dealwiththe]

Delilah. She was a… protege, of sorts. But it was years ago. And her killer got the punishment he deserved.

[ No use crying over spilled milk. Besides, she’s not in Hell. He checked. ]

…And I get the sense you’re referring to someone else now, unless the Lucifer in your universe also had a whirlwind week-long Vegas marriage to a beautiful lounge singer named Candy!

[albatrossomen]

I expect nothing less.

[He also expects that. If she was someone he was at least mildly attached to, this Lucifer did seem like the type to look.]

Forgive my presumption. No, not quite, I was thinking of another old flame though in retrospect the word marriage should have tipped me off. She never was one for such constrictive, traditional roles. Especially not after that messy fall out with Adam.

[dealwiththe]

Lilith? We were good friends, nothing more.

[ Not that their friendship was insignificant in any way! ]

We had some particularly good times in 18th century France!

[albatrossomen]

Understood.

[He'd ask about the Lilim but that might be too much too soon. Another time.]

It does sound like you have a fair few stories to tell. I'd be interested in hearing a few should you be feeling nostalgic at some point, I do love a good story.

[dealwiththe]

I have so many stories. Until I get my hands on a piano, I may just have to regale everyone with some. I’m better in person, though.

[ A consummate performer, Lucifer is always best with a live audience he can play off of. ]

That observatory isn’t bad. Acoustically, I mean.

[albatrossomen]

Why not? The observatory is arguably the best room on the ship, both acoustically and visually. A show could offer a reprieve from cabin-fever induced ruminations.

[There are more than a few on board who like to ruminate.]

[dealwiththe]

If there's one thing I can guarantee you, it's that everyone on this space ship needs a way to get out of their own heads. And I'm the best Devil for the job.

[ You're welcome in advance. ]

[albatrossomen]

I wonder if Navi can hear from where they are? They could probably use the distraction as well. Imagine being tied into all of us at the same time?

[Horrifying. It's loud enough without a direct link.]

[dealwiththe]

Well, they'll get a better show now that I'm aboard, at least.

[albatrossomen]

Of that I am certain. However, I believe it time I leave you to your party planning in peace.