video; un: lux

[dealwiththe]

[ Ah look, a new, and very handsome, face on the network! Enjoy your first look at Lucifer, residents of Navi. You're welcome.

He looks about forty, and sounds British, though he is of course neither. His smile, while wide and brilliant and charming, doesn't quite reach his eyes, which can best be described as "sad puppy dog brown". He's very well-dressed, though there might be a drop of blood or two on the otherwise-pristine collar of his white dress shirt - from a cut that's healing nicely on his temple. ]

Right, introductions are in order, I think. I'm Lucifer - Morningstar, yes, that one. Ruler of Hell, Satan, Beelzebub, all of that, but probably not the Devil you know. I'd rather keep the murder attempts at a minimum, they're very annoying. I don't lie, I don't kill, and I don't eat babies - that was a joke, I had no idea Dante would take me literally on that one. Milton got a little closer to the truth but the metaphors are always way off!

[ He sighs, shrugs, and pulls out a flask, taking a swig from it, then scowling at it for a moment. ]

Right, so, ask away, everyone always has questions, but I have a few as well. I don't suppose anyone has any decent liquor on board?

[ He tips the flask, and nothing comes out. He's empty. SAD TROMBONE. ]

And can we make requests? Perhaps we can try to stop off at a planet with a halfway decent piano bar next. It's been ages since I've seen the inside of one that wasn't a Hell loop.

Comments

[relance]

Werewolf. Yes I can change at will, and neither honestly.

[dealwiththe]

So... you didn't choose it, but it's not a curse? That sounds like a story I'd like to hear.

[ f a s c i n a t i n g ]

[relance]

Aw sweetie, we aren't good enough friends for you to have unlocked my tragic backstory.

[dealwiththe]

Well, I'll certainly have to rectify that! Starting with that drink. Or three.

[ He is not fazed in the slightest. ]

For better or worse, my tragic backstory is entirely out there for anyone to read about. I suppose you can say I'm easy-mode.

[relance]

Probably starting with five actually. There's a reason I've got so much of it.

[It takes so much for Julia to get drunk, never mind wasted.]

But I'm pretty sure that isn't how it really went cause that book is pretty good propaganda.

[dealwiththe]

Oh dear, between the two of us we'll need a river of it, then! We must be kindred spirits.

[ Gettit? ]

Well, the Good Book isn't entirely wrong. I did rebel and get cast out of Heaven. But that doesn't mean I'm evil.

[relance]

[Julia is going to snort, because really? Puns.]

Didn't think you were, actually. I definitely know evil and it's not the devil.

[dealwiththe]

[ Get used to the puns! ]

Oh, that puts you in some rarefied company, darling. I have to admit, being on a sentient interdimensional space ship certainly makes explaining what I am to people much easier than I'm used to.

[relance]

I mean given that we're all fucking stuck here, it just makes more sense to accept people as what they are where they are. Otherwise what's the point, you know? This kinda doesn't seem to fucking matter as to what happens back home.

[dealwiththe]

Well, if nothing matters, all the more reason to enjoy ourselves as much as possible whilst stuck here!

[relance]

[Julia laughs.]

Yeeeep. That's the plan.