video; un: lux

[dealwiththe]

[ Ah look, a new, and very handsome, face on the network! Enjoy your first look at Lucifer, residents of Navi. You're welcome.

He looks about forty, and sounds British, though he is of course neither. His smile, while wide and brilliant and charming, doesn't quite reach his eyes, which can best be described as "sad puppy dog brown". He's very well-dressed, though there might be a drop of blood or two on the otherwise-pristine collar of his white dress shirt - from a cut that's healing nicely on his temple. ]

Right, introductions are in order, I think. I'm Lucifer - Morningstar, yes, that one. Ruler of Hell, Satan, Beelzebub, all of that, but probably not the Devil you know. I'd rather keep the murder attempts at a minimum, they're very annoying. I don't lie, I don't kill, and I don't eat babies - that was a joke, I had no idea Dante would take me literally on that one. Milton got a little closer to the truth but the metaphors are always way off!

[ He sighs, shrugs, and pulls out a flask, taking a swig from it, then scowling at it for a moment. ]

Right, so, ask away, everyone always has questions, but I have a few as well. I don't suppose anyone has any decent liquor on board?

[ He tips the flask, and nothing comes out. He's empty. SAD TROMBONE. ]

And can we make requests? Perhaps we can try to stop off at a planet with a halfway decent piano bar next. It's been ages since I've seen the inside of one that wasn't a Hell loop.

Comments

[imarealistnotacynic]

[Despite everything Richard laughs. It's a defeated little laugh.]
No. Being here, I've learned not to ask questions like that. I could pontificate for hours.

[Does he preen? Maybe.]

I've always admired your approach to logic and reason. I know that Lucifer who fell did so because he questioned.

[dealwiththe]

[ Oh, he does like you, Richard. Yes, please tell him more about how much you like him!!!! ]

Why yes, I did! Back in the day, Dad didn't much like having His authority questioned. He still doesn't, I assume, since I'm still permabanned from the Silver City. He says "jump" and my siblings only think to ask "how high?"

And I make my own way in the universe.

[imarealistnotacynic]

[It's nice to be on firm footing with someone. Someone that at least discouraged belief.

He doesn't smile, still rumpled, but he does look relaxed.]

Fathers are like that. [Though his encouraged him to believe in skepticism to the point of it destroying his life.]

Silver City-I'm going to assume that's some idea of heaven? Do you know the angel that's here?

[dealwiththe]

It's what we angels call it. What Mum and Dad called it.

[ He smirks again and touches the cut at his temple lightly. ]

Oh yes, Murmur and I have met. Don't worry - he's not actually one of my siblings, so there won't be any celestial fratricide attempts. Is he a friend of yours? He seems the bookish type. Thought the most fun I could have in church would be to argue with the priest.

[imarealistnotacynic]

He-

[Richard waves it off] It's hard to approach the concept of angels for me. Or at least it was. This ship will do strange things to you.

[And he snorts back laughter.] What, no desire to apply rich old abusive obsessive men's whims to what should be a deeply personal and spiritual practice? No desire to kowtow? Oh what a shame.

[He inhales] He...helped me with a problem. I'm trying to take the strange creatures in other worlds one step at a time.

[dealwiththe]

A skeptical man of science confronted with things he once believed existed only in fairy stories and trite morality tales.

[ Lucifer smiles faintly. ]

You're already handling it better than most if you haven't committed violence yet. Or just gone insane. Congratulations! If we were in LA I'd point you to my therapist - she's very good, and handles the celestial bombshells like a champ. But, alas. I can only suggest you speak with my friend Ella Lopez - recently arrived, also recently learned my true nature, but remarkably good at keeping perspective about it all. At least, so far. She's still choosing to associate with me, anyway.

[imarealistnotacynic]

My world is...somewhat unique.

[His smile is thin] I'll take you up on your advice. One day at a time is how I've been approaching it.

[He should be wary. Demons and dark creatures and the end of the world but also...also...]

You're considerably more verbose than other demonic entities I've encountered. What are you doing in LA?

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer pulls a face at that. And you were doing so well, too! ]

I’m not a demonic entity. I’m an ex-angel, and I rule over demons, I’m not one of them.

And I was in LA doing what everyone in LA tries to do - live my own life. It wasn’t bad for a while, either.

[imarealistnotacynic]

I apologize. It...

[He presses his lips together.] My world's demonic entities - there's no sense of reason to them beyond seemingly apocalyptic plans and cults dedicated to it.

[That just kind of bursts out but he considers that notion.] Something happened?

[dealwiththe]

Sounds like the demons in your world lack strong leadership.

That’s a bit like what happened in my world. They got uppity. Started endangering humans. [ His face hardens a little, thinking about it. Specifically, they endangered humans he cares about. ] So, I had to go back. To Hell. Resume my kingly duties.

[imarealistnotacynic]

[Considering what he heard about his own history there is something about that that...

He shakes it off.]

Our world involved what seems to be an intersection of cults focusing on my family dedicated to playing music that would open a portal to a demonic dimension playing sounds to summon the legions of the damned while forcibly possessing human beings.

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer pauses a moment, taking all that in, a serious look on his face. Then he says: ]

That must be one Hell of a tune.

[ Oh no. You’ve done it now! Let the musical puns begin! ]

Oh, oh! Does it involve the Devil’s Chord?

[imarealistnotacynic]

[Snort. Then.]

Yes. How did you know?

[dealwiththe]

Well, it is a little obvious. They might as well use R.E.M.

[ And he sings, perfectly in pitch: ] It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine...

[ But oh, he's going to have so much fun with this! ]

But I get it! When it comes to the apocalypse, you really have to strike just the right chord. Everything needs to be pitch-perfect. Whoever orchestrates it can't be tone-deaf.