video; un: lux

[dealwiththe]

[ Ah look, a new, and very handsome, face on the network! Enjoy your first look at Lucifer, residents of Navi. You're welcome.

He looks about forty, and sounds British, though he is of course neither. His smile, while wide and brilliant and charming, doesn't quite reach his eyes, which can best be described as "sad puppy dog brown". He's very well-dressed, though there might be a drop of blood or two on the otherwise-pristine collar of his white dress shirt - from a cut that's healing nicely on his temple. ]

Right, introductions are in order, I think. I'm Lucifer - Morningstar, yes, that one. Ruler of Hell, Satan, Beelzebub, all of that, but probably not the Devil you know. I'd rather keep the murder attempts at a minimum, they're very annoying. I don't lie, I don't kill, and I don't eat babies - that was a joke, I had no idea Dante would take me literally on that one. Milton got a little closer to the truth but the metaphors are always way off!

[ He sighs, shrugs, and pulls out a flask, taking a swig from it, then scowling at it for a moment. ]

Right, so, ask away, everyone always has questions, but I have a few as well. I don't suppose anyone has any decent liquor on board?

[ He tips the flask, and nothing comes out. He's empty. SAD TROMBONE. ]

And can we make requests? Perhaps we can try to stop off at a planet with a halfway decent piano bar next. It's been ages since I've seen the inside of one that wasn't a Hell loop.

Comments

[dealwiththe]

Wouldn’t put it past her. I mean, I’ve been depicted as all sorts of things over the millennia. Humans are funny like that.

[ Yeah, it could be a multiverse thing - or not! He’s hardly all-knowing. Wrong deity.

Anyway he’s still just… smiling faintly. Talking about Lilith always makes him nostalgic. ]

[bilocates]

[Humans are funny like that. Yes, wrong deity indeed and honestly by now Simon's fairly certain that it's unnecessary to bring up anything about tall shadowy demonic figures or people with upside-down faces. He thinks he'll keep that to the Evangelical Skeptic and Alex.

However...]

...Are you ill?

[Simon doesn't understand fond emotions.]

[dealwiththe]

Never been ill in my life.

[ Lucifer shakes himself out of memory lane to flash a bright smile at the faceless person. ]

I don’t believe I caught your name?

[bilocates]

Right.

[That shouldn't be possible. Probably? Probably. Suddenly none of the rules make sense and honestly they never really did. But the nonsense they were he understood, the nonsense they are now is just...

Bizarre.]

Simon.

[dealwiththe]

[ The skepticism in his tone does not go unnoticed, and Lucifer chuckles mildly. ]

You still seem to be having a bit of trouble with the whole, “I’m an immortal celestial being created before time itself and not susceptible to mortal means of harm”, yeah?

1/2

[bilocates]

Goodbye, Lucifer Morningstar.

2/2; now private

[bilocates]

[It clicks back on once he's sure he's clicked over to private, still audio, but less distorted. With a sigh.]

No. That part I understand.

What I'm having difficulty with is how your explanation fits into a world of demons, cults and shadows teetering on the brink of being consumed utterly in darkness. Before you get defensive, it's not your doing, I know that. I also know that there's likely no stopping it.

And I'd rather someone else on board not find out about what I do know.

[Alex wouldn't take it well.]

now private

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer looks amused. ]

Maybe it doesn’t. Fit, that is. There are always similarities between universes - Earth and humans almost always exist, for instance - but that doesn’t mean what I just told you applies exactly to yours.

Good luck with the shadow monsters, though. Sounds a bit Lovecraftian.

Also, good luck keeping secrets from anyone in a place like this. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t tell a soul your… whatever. But it’s not likely to stay secret, whatever you’re concerned about.

[bilocates]

Parallel worlds, then.

[That makes much more sense with what he knows versus what Lucifer is saying. It's his truth, for his world, and very unlikely to match with theirs. Simon would almost prefer it wasn't the case and he was just criminally insane.

People would be safer that way.]

Thanks. We'll need it. [Maybe he sounds a little defeated, it's hard to tell his monotone doesn't carry a lot of emotion in it. Just tiny hints and perhaps some tired. No matter.]

Maybe, maybe not. I don't plan on telling anyone else.

[dealwiththe]

Dawkins really was on the right track!

[ Lucifer just continues to look incredibly nonchalant. ]

Well, even if your world ends, it won’t be the end of everything. If that gives you any comfort. If you need any.

[bilocates]

[It's too bad he didn't have a chance to look much into his work.]

[Simon's silent for a long while. The distortion returns, a kind of static over the audio before he eventually responds.]

I'll think on it.

[And with that the feed seems to genuinely end. This one has no manners!]