Who or what are you (and why am I the way I am?)

[imarealistnotacynic]

Who?: Mur and Richard Strand
What?: Richard has to confront a terrifying reality on the ship
When?: Monday-ish
Warnings?: Probably a lot of swearing. A lot of violence.
Notes: Rated T for teen



Richard Strand is troubled.

Alex is here, and Alex believes this place is good. Alex is a reasonable woman and it hurts him to think of her like this. Believing in this.

Still in it's own way it is pleasant to be here and he managed to acquire other clothing - a second suit, and a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt he has done his best not to let Alex see him in. He has never let his guard down around her. He can't. She thinks - or thought - that he had something to offer and here...

Being alone with his thoughts is difficult mostly because the longer he's here the more he has a headache. He dreams and it's like he's standing in a crowded room. It's a room full of whispering and he can't stand it because the longer he's here the worse it gets.

Case in point. Here he is in the cafeteria and the whispering is getting worse until -

There's something like a sun nearby.

It's blinding. No whispering just a gentle murmur and when he looks over there's that strange man that he saw earlier.

He blinks, and stares.

and blinks.

And stares.

He can't help it, staring at the man blankly while - awkwardly - holding a hand over his eyes like he's looking at the sun. As far as him - there is a loud sound of crashing waves roaring whenever looks at his mind.

Comments

[albatrossomen]

She would do a much better job of calming him down, Murmur isn't good at this part. He doesn't talk to humans on this level often enough. The more gregarious are usually in charge of that.

"Close your eyes and breathe," He suggests, stepping back to lean against the counter. He is, unfortunately, unable to dim his light any further. He's been holding it down since they all arrived, and as far as looking goes well he can't really stop doing that entirely either. Even if he'd love to do so.

"You know that isn't true, why does it pain you so?"

TW: Child abuse mentions

[imarealistnotacynic]

"Richard I won't tolerate these lies from you any longer."

"Father Cheryl is scared and I'm scared! Father please! They're giving us nightmares!-"

"Because you have allowed yourself to stupidly, foolishly, let yourself be swayed by your younger sister's childish antics."

"She's not a child! They're real, I've seen them, I've sensed them-"

That was when his hand came down.

"Because leading humans along like that is false and manipulative. People are desperate foolish children just waiting for a con man to take advantage of them." His head shakes, "It's ridiculous. Foolish and hurts them. and I won't let anyone do that."

Beneath his cruelty. Beneath his manipulation, he is a good man.

[albatrossomen]

He wasn't looking intentionally, wasn't digging deeper than that which rested on the surface, yet he could still feel the pain. The child's grief and betrayal. There was more behind Richard's motives than mere stubbornness.

Perhaps he wasn't so lost.

"You're not wrong, the cruelty of man is terrible and great," There's a heaviness to his words, a great sorrow to the quiet song his essence sings. He understands. "Has your own deception protected them? Has it protected you?"

Or has it instead left him and those around him vulnerable to that which they don't understand?

[imarealistnotacynic]

No. No No No.

Why is his mind turning to someone needing to comfort him? He doesn't need anyone. Not Alex or Ruby or Tanis if you get close you get hurt. You get hurt and you get left alone.

Mr. Strand, you are going to have to face the prospect of jailtime.

He stands, features firm.

"Thank you for your time I apologize if my presence disrupted you."

The whispers run through his head and he knows, he knows it is the truth. That what this thing speaks is something that he has managed to avoid by filling his life with work. The sound of roaring waves. Crackling fires. Whispers.

[albatrossomen]

Because he's human and that's normal. This self imposed isolation is not, all it does is wound those who care.

Murmur only bows his head slightly in acknowledgement. "At least take your tea," The space tea is very calming after all.

"No problem has ever been solved by avoidance, Dr. Strand. Should you require me, I think you know how to find me."

He'll not stop him, clearly the man needs some time to himself.

[imarealistnotacynic]

Richard just turns and glares.

"I'm not letting you manipulate me with this. If you -"

The brightness, the eyes. He presses his lips together thinly and bares his teeth.

"Your kind owes us a lot more than you might be willing to pay."

And he turns and stalks off.

[albatrossomen]

"Before you start throwing stones about manipulation, you may want to issue a few apologies." He offers flippantly, unconcerned.

Right up until he throws his next accusation. The temperature drops sharply, pointedly, almost painfully. Richard would see his own breath, though Murmur strangely had none. That weight is back, the oppressive pressure of far too many eyes.

But he said nothing, reigning in that flare of anger before he could spit too much venom in Strand's direction. What did he know about sacrifice?

[imarealistnotacynic]

It's echoing. It's like he's down at the bottom of a well staring upward and it's never been this bad before.

Ever.

because I fill my time with science. I work. I work to avoid the dreams. I work

"...Stop. stop." His throat clenches. His mind instinctively pushes in the direction of the thing like a kitten staring down a lion.

Does he run? Is he afraid absolutely because he can hear his father's voice as he glares back, drawing himself up with his cup of tea his hands shaking. Walking away.