UN: Presage : Audio - Musings

[albatrossomen]

I have been feeling philosophical of late and would like to pose a question to you all:

Tell me, what does the concept of purpose mean to you?

[It's a simple question with a lot of meaning. Someone's been ruminating, but he's not about to come out and admit that's what this is actually about. Instead he'll hide it in philosophical discussions for fun, which he does find quite a bit of fun. Mortal perception has always been fascinating to him.]

Comments

video; un: lux

[dealwiththe]

[ He's doing video just for the eyeroll factor. ]

Ugh, you are so much like Amenadiel sometimes it's sickening. Purpose is and should be self-defined. Your purpose is whatever you want it to be. Even if that means brooding and pondering and generally wasting everybody's time.

Okay fine, video

[albatrossomen]

[He's going to ignore the faint insults and focus on the more useful part.]

So to you, purpose is self-defined. With that in mind, how do you go about defining said purpose?

Can one waste a construct?

[dealwiththe]

You have to ask yourself one simple question, my many-eyed, icicle-wielding brother-from-another-mother: what do you truly desire?

Once you figure that out, you'll have a purpose.

And of course time can be wasted. Wait too long, and opportunities will pass you by, moments are missed, and then you have regrets.

[albatrossomen]

[Hah! He likes that, and offers a faintly amused look. Going to take that description as complimentary.]

That is the question of the hour, isn't it? Unfortunately the answer yet eludes me.

Speaking from experience?

[dealwiththe]

A bit.

[ He’s not elaborating on that. ]

Anyway, good luck figuring it out. I can’t mojo you so you’ll have to do it the hard way.

[ He’s so helpful. ]

[albatrossomen]

[He won't pry. this time.]

Your insight is appreciated nonetheless. Before you go, any suggestions on where to begin such a journey?

[He's lost at sea and space here, entirely out of his element.]

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer actually has to think about that for a moment. How did he begin figuring it out? The easy answer would be when he met the Detective but while that was part of it, and changed a lot of things for him, there's no saying if he'd ever have been in a position to acknowledge it, let alone embark on an actual relationship with her, if not for - ]

Well, I got therapy.

[albatrossomen]

[Murmur was actually rather surprised the answer wasn't 'The Detective.' Despite it being something of a noncommittal answer, it wasn't necessarily a bad suggestion. Just one that was, at the moment, rather unobtainable.

However, current existential crisis aside, it wasn't as though Murmur was strapped for time. It was something to consider at the very least.]

I recall your Detective mentioning something along the same lines. I will take this counsel into consideration.

[Despite sounding like weird robot he wasn't actually kidding about that, he did value Lucifer's insight oddly enough. He seemed to be on a better track than Murmur was at the moment, at any rate.]

[dealwiththe]

If Doctor Linda was here I'd already have introduced you - she's quite good!

[ Lucifer never misses an opportunity to praise the amazing and talented humans in his life! ]

I mean, obviously. She's managed to course-correct the Devil himself.

audio; un: justnick

[metamorphotic]

Always sounded like a lotta horseshit to me.

[nick rivenna, eloquent as always.]

[albatrossomen]

If not for a sense of purpose, what motivates you?

[Indeed. He did ask vaguely to try to get as wide an array of opinions on the matter as he could.]

[metamorphotic]

I dunno. [she shrugs, even though this isn’t video.] When you’re a kid, you do stuff ‘cause it’s what your parents tell you to do. When you get older, you do stuff ‘cause it’s what ya gotta do, y’know? Get a job so you can pay the bills. Keep working so y’don’t end up homeless and starving. Some people think they gotta get married and have babies, so maybe that’s their purpose, but I would’ve died before I ended up like that.

[indeed, nick imagined she’d be dead well before her current age. maybe that has something to do with her lacking a sense of purpose.]

You’re not talkin’ ‘bout destiny or some shit like that, are ya?

[albatrossomen]

Surely there must be more than base survival and continuation of the species, no? What good is a mind that thinks and feels and learns if those capacities are left to stagnate? There is nothing wrong with choosing not to have children.

[He knows that feeling.]

In the way it is commonly defined, no. There is no such thing as a singular predetermined path. There are only choices, and the potential pathways both created and left behind by those choices.

[metamorphotic]

Pft. Maybe if you’re rich.

[what good indeed. nick isn’t terribly politically-minded, but even she would agree that capitalism is bad.]

I’ve been a bartender for most of the time I’ve been old enough to work. My purpose there was gettin’ people drinks, sometimes breakin’ up fights. Back in Dualis? I got roped into workin’ with a buncha shitheads tryin’ to overthrow Big Brother. My purpose then was gettin’ a feel for people they wanted to recruit, talk to ‘em an’ try to sense if they’d join the cause. I even did some of the heavy lifting for ‘em - before your time, I think, I shut down the entire city power grid.

[ah, memories. nick goes quiet for a moment, shoving down an internal wave of guilt reaching for the surface. she was supposed to protect the heart, and she failed at that purpose. vergil, mello, marie - everyone had been captured and executed, except for her.]

Is any of that stuff I was born to do? Hell if I know. Way I see it, purpose is just something you tell yourself you got so you keep goin’. Could be anything.

[albatrossomen]

Ah, yes, the unfortunate side-effects of greed.

[He had to be careful not to be extra weirdo alien in how he worded that, it was almost 'your mortal societies are ruled by' and stopped himself. He's grown too comfortable with most on the ship already knowing what he is.]

From these descriptions I take it you perceive purpose as somewhat synonymous with 'job' or 'duty.' As something that is done out of necessity, rather than desire. Would I be correct in that assessment?

[Not to say that her definition was inaccurate in any way, in truth it fell in line with how he'd long perceived it. Now that things were shifting he was interested to hear the perspective of others.]

Yes, I'm afraid I missed much of the excitement. The city was almost entirely emptied by the time I arrived. Of course, now we have Mindseye's attention to contend with out here, but that is a problem we cannot yet address until it makes its presence known once again.

[Oops, did no one tell her? Well she's hearing it now.]

I suppose that is one way to look at it.

[He was Created for his, so not unlike being born to it only maybe more extreme.]

[metamorphotic]

[during her time kicking around the multiverse, nick has lived with gods and monsters, mutants and metahumans, and she’s not entirely human herself, so. she wouldn’t find the fact that murmur is a celestial even a little bit strange.]

Yeah, I guess so? I don’t really know what I’d be doin’ with my life if I wasn’t workin’. Singin’ and playin’ a guitar ain’t really a purpose either - not for me, anyway. That’s just somethin’ I got into on accident.

[mmmm let’s go with no, she hasn’t been told.]

Wait, what? Are you fuckin’ kidding me?

[albatrossomen]

[Probably not, most have taken the news very well here. The problem, of course, is that old habits die hard and he's still not entirely sure what rulebook he's playing by anymore. Dear old Dad has, of course, continued to remain silent on the subject.

He'd continue on with their line of conversation regarding purpose, but it would seem he derailed into a different topic entirely. Whoops.]

You'll find that I am not particularly adept at humor.

[So, no, he isn't kidding.]

text ;; i sure am late

[misterbrekker]

[With everything he's been putting up with lately, Kaz has been brooding and isolating himself and the subject of "purpose" has been a particularly stubborn puzzle he hasn't been able to crack. It's suspicious that Murmur of all people is voicing the same question that's been plaguing him, so he doesn't know why he's taking the bait and responding when it'd certainly be much easier to just not engage. Staying in his own echo chamber isn't providing any new insights, though, so perhaps it's just time to try a different approach.

Of course, he's not keen to share his deepest thoughts especially with you Murmur, so he opts for a shallow and deflective answer: ]

Money.

Never too late!

[albatrossomen]

[One would think, given Kaz's initial reaction to him that he'd avoid reaching out to Murmur. Most would take his initial answer at face value, but Murmur knows better than to assume he reached out with only the intent to be dismissive. There would be no point to that, to calling attention to himself.

He was seeking more, he just wasn't willing to state it outright just yet.]

Monetary gain is a popular life goal for many of your kind. Tell me, what will you do with it?

Woohoo!

[misterbrekker]

[As unsettling as Murmur was, Kaz wasn't about to pretend that he could avoid him forever. Considering the alternative was simply waiting for Murmur to catch him unaware again, the better option seemed to be to approach on his own terms. Plus, though the idea of talking over a device was strange to him, it'd also at least provide a buffer, a way to learn more about Murmur without having to deal with that uncomfortable scrutiny.

Still, he wasn't sure it was the right move, but uncertainty lurked everywhere these days.]

Aside from keep a roof over my head and food in my belly? Build something new, watch it burn.

[It's not the first time he's been asked that, and it's certainly not the first time giving such a noncommittal answer. Still, he does think about it, then adds as an afterthought:]

Level the playing field.

[albatrossomen]

[Oh Kaz, what makes you think he won't do that anyway? When he wants to scrutinize he'll hardly let the distance of a device get in his way. Right now, however, it's more amusing to do it this way. It does absolutely offer a buffer... for now. And with that buffer he might just find a bit of insight more aggressively protected before.

A worthy experiment, regardless.]

Why?

[It's a simple enough question, one with he expected a complicated answer. Why build something only to destroy it? To what end would that serve?

Ah... now again comes the hint to something deeper.]

What playing field do you wish to level, against whom?

[misterbrekker]

[Why, indeed? Wasn't there ever another dream? She had asked him the same question before, and her voice echoed the question now, simultaneously comforting and unwelcome. Perhaps it was to leave his own mark on a world that seemed determined to scrape you off the bottom of it's shoe.

If it was that simple, though, he wouldn't still be thinking about it. He never shied away from or made excuses for the things he's done, and felt that peace and redemption were simply out of the cards for him, so why try? Where the cold waters fought for dominance to pull him under, however, a certain Wraith had been trying to stoke the coals of hope.

Murmur's next question served as a reminder for how far from home he was, and he regarded it with some surprise followed by amusement before replying, opting to ignore the previous question altogether.]

Plenty of people go to sleep at night, warm in their beds with full bellies, preaching that worrying about money is beneath them. Others are just born beneath money, left on the streets to fight over the scraps. Life isn't fair, and if you don't like the odds, you learn to change the game.

[albatrossomen]

[Life was never easy. It was never compassionate, nor kind. It was a struggle, a never ending fight against nigh insurmountable odds, screaming at a cold and indifferent universe. And yet... and yet despite all of that there was grace. Despite the horrors, the helplessness, the powers so great as to be as Titans among men people still fought. They did not go quietly into the darkness.

And that was what made them beautiful.

Yes, even the ones that were lost.]

You speak of the privileged. The wealthy. You act on behalf of the poor and downtrodden, carry within you a burning desire for vengeance. For retribution.

[It didn't take the sight of an angel to see that much.]

If you were to succeed in evening those odds what would you do then? Would you burn that to the ground as well?

[misterbrekker]

[Now and then, Kaz would get so close to a breakthrough, to breaching the surface... Then something would grab him from below, pull him under, back down into those cold waters that plagued him.]

I act on behalf of myself, and no one else. And who knows? Ideally I'll become successful enough I can pay someone to do it for me. That's what the big players do.

[Just like that, he retreats back into his armor. Truthfully, he didn't know how to answer the question of what came next. There was a small, desperate part of him that wanted to hope for something better, that ached to be better, but he buried that part of him alongside the ghost of his brother and chalked it up as futile and pointless.]

What about you? Do you have some grand sense of purpose, or are you hoping for a palatable answer?

[albatrossomen]

[It was almost painful to watch him come so close only to drag himself back under. For no other bonds tied him here in this place, this was as far from repercussion as one could hope to be and yet...

Guilt was a hell of a drug. For it was nothing else but himself, after all.]

You were so close.

[A long suffering sigh.]

I can see you are not yet ready for this conversation.

[As for Kaz's question about himself he simply offered that brief flash of teeth, even if he couldn't see that over audio it carried in his tone. Still weirdly emotionless although there might be the slightest edge of something almost predatory.]

Oh, I do not wallow in platitudes. I find them... unnecessary. Cumbersome lies your kind tells to yourselves to comfort against the unpredictable chaos of existence. You know what I am, what do you think the answer to that question is?