Glimpses into the terrible future // Closed

[bilocates]

Who: Alex Regan, Richard Strand, and Simon Reese
What: Reviewing Season Three of The Black Tapes Podcast together.
When: Well into their trip post party planet, forward dated
Warnings: This will be a disaster




You know how Simon's terrible? He bluntly states the truth of others while obscuring his own. He skulks around like a cat, leaves cryptic clues, and haunts floor four?

Well, he hasn't dropped those habits. After hiding it for weeks he leaves a recorded version of Season Three on Alex's pillow one day. No explanation, no identification, but she'll know it was him.

Who else would it be?

Then he waits. She'll reach out.

Comments

CW: abuse

[imarealistnotacynic]

Richard has to stop and think - mostly he's angry. He's angry about Simon trying to break him, trying to push him mentally. He doesn't like to be pushed. He doesn't like it when people push him or push others.

Especially over this ability. He does not want this, he does not want to be at the center of any of this, being stared down by a boy and when he says temper...

"Father please."

He has refused to cry so many times in front of his father but this is different. He wants to fight back, to attack him, This is about their family. This is Cheryl and Cheryl needs him. He's only 7, this isn't fair.

The belt hits the arm he's thrown up to protect himself. It hits him hard and bleeds.

"I can control my temper." His voice is dead and flat, "I'm not my father. Since you both know about that now. I-"

He lowers his gaze and his hands tighten, "I can control my temper. Can you not push me?"

[11calls]

Alex's frown deepens when Simon says 'incident' in that way, and she can't help but to look concerned. Neither one of me had given Alex the truth of what had happened then, so she asks a question knowing that it gives either of them the chance to answer the it (but somehow she expects it's going to be Simon rather than Strand.) "What incident? What are you talking about?" Alex has the idea of what the circumstances surrounding it were, but she doesn't know exactly what Strand had done to Simon and vice versa.

Whatever it is doesn't sound good at all. But as much as Strand has been angry with her and yes, both of them have a temper (the three if you count Simon) Richard's fights were always with vicious words. At least as far as she's known. Alex knows the truths of Strand's past like with the psychic but that circumstance had been extreme; she doesn't think this counts as extreme. At least she's hoping not anyway.

Something really messed up in bringing Simon when Alex was gone because the two of them didn't seem like they would get along considering how Simon said that Strand had thought of him as a delusional murderer.

[bilocates]

Simon continues to look unimpressed, even bordering on angry. And while he's not doing any more of his "spooky" business with the lights it'd be fairly apparent that whatever he was talking about really genuinely bothered him. There wasn't much that typically much that could really get under Simon's skin other than prayer, and those who abuse children.

Simon might not be a child anymore, but he sure as hell wasn't going to tolerate being on the receiving end of Richard's violence and denial.

"Aren't you?" He asked, low and quiet and dangerous. You know what you did, Richard. You know damn well what you did. Simon had been careful to not broach the topic lest Alex ask too many questions, this was something he was trying to give Richard the opportunity to come clean about. It would seem that, once again, Richard couldn't be trusted to take the high road.

"If controlling your temper is contingent on your feelings never getting hurt, then it isn't really control, is it?" There's a venomous edge there, a bite. Think, Richard, think about how you act. How you conduct yourself when your ego is challenged.

[imarealistnotacynic]

"Father please."

"Howard! Howard stop!"

"Stay out of this. He has to learn-"

But something warm and soft puts itself in front of him and the whip-crack comes down on his mother's shoulder. She never hesitated to throw herself in his path. Howard would toss her aside except his hits, his fury, drew blood from her shoulder.

"Mama!" Cheryl is crying and he's crying too and all of that-

He can see it clearly in his mind's eye. His mother with her arms around a boy, cheryl screaming. He's seeing it outside of himself, seeing the scene of the four of them. It's a very vivid memory.

Except it's not him being hurt. He's looking furious, physically beating away things he doesn't understand, and it's Simon in his mother's arms.

The flood of emotion and betrayal from the younger man makes Richard sway as he puts his arms out, his gaze not drifting away from Simon. His breath beats fast and hard in his chest.

He is not his father.
He is not his father.
He is not-

You were never my father. Charlie snarls, You're a bastard and a monster.

His first instinct is to run but tears prick his eyes and he inhales. One breath, two, three, be calm. Maybe the cycle of violence never really breaks

Damn you Howard.

"...I-"

His head falls into his hands as he stands, "Simon has been trying to encourage me to use this...this..."

His hands gesture at his head. His deranged mutant monsterous visage You should have hit harder Howard. You should have killed me. Better that then this.

His voice is flat. Dead.

"Gift. I became angry. I became frightened and I lashed out and I hurt him. Badly. Just like my father hurt me when I tried to get him to open up to things he did not understand."

I didn't see it until now. He's thinking to himself, just to himself but loudly enough that anyone might hear, I didn't know that route behavior...or I did. I don't like being pushed.

Heedless of the two of them he moves toward the wall to lean against it, turning back and staring at them, but not at them. Through them. They're not there.

He can still feel it.

He can still see it.

There are scientific words for this and terms. It has to mean something. Or perhaps it doesn't. He just wants to sob but instead he doesn't take his eyes off of Simon. Stuck. Stuck in that loop mentally.

[11calls]

While Alex has never seen Strand looking that bad she’s seen him bad before and this reminds her of those long and silent moments after Coralee had left and he’d be making tea. She knows it’s not the same thing, not at all but it’s close enough that it’s worrisome.

It actually worries her a lot worse.

Alex looks to Simon, her eyes sad and full of apology. She’s apologizing without words (for the moment) for not asking what had happened to him when she should have. She’s apologizing because she feels like she’s been monstrous for asking Simon to help him. But perhaps most of all, Alex is apologizing for what she’s about to do.

Moving towards Strand, Alex steps between him and the way that he’s staring at Simon. Then she takes a step forward and another until she rests her hand against Strand’s cheek. Her voice is soft and her eyes are locked onto his own when she whispers. “Hey, Richard. Come back. You’ve got to come back.”

[bilocates]

It's an admission. Acknowledgement. The faintest flicker of realization and reflection... that's really all Simon wanted. He didn't expect an apology, at this stage it would be meaningless and empty. What he needed was for Richard Strand to really see how his actions, his tantrums and his temper, affected those around him. Before all of this Simon could keep far, far away and never had to deal with it directly.

Now... now he wasn't so lucky. How could he trust someone who would turn on him in a crisis simply because he didn't like what he heard? How could any of them trust him to do what was necessary when the pieces all fell into place?

Finally breaking the stare down he was having with Richard he shot Alex a look and a faint shrug, he understood. She had enough to deal with she didn't need to get between their squabbling. But at least she cared. Too much, always too much. But... Simon wasn't going to make it worse. Now that he'd made his point he just fell silent, slumping back in his chair to watch the events unfold.

Ideally Richard would pull himself together and rejoin them to listen to what Simon had brought to the table, but he's going to let Alex handle that part herself.

[imarealistnotacynic]

"Simon."

It's not just Simon. It's Coralee. It's Alex. It's everyone he has ever hurt. His hand shoots out to grab at Alex's like a vice - but he drops it. Wrapping his arms around himself.

"I'm not -" No. He was. He was him. How could he move forward without getting rid of the ghost of the man he had become? That's what hurts the most. He can feel Simon's disappointment. He can feel him standing there and when he had a chance to be a good man, to do right by someone who needed him, he didn't take it.

How could he regain his trust.

When he reaches out for Alex his hand is gentle, "I was afraid. Alex I was afraid and I hurt him and Simon I am..."

I see you and you are just how I was when I was a child. I didn't mean to cause you pain. I am scared.

"I am scared and I am sorry."

[11calls]

Alex just looks at him and gives a soft and sad smile. The times that she's heard Richard Strand apologize, like really apologize she could count on one hand and not even use all of her fingers. An apology on not believing something had never occurred, but honestly Alex is relieved to hear it; she's not relieved merely for herself (because this isn't about her--at least not entirely--) she's relieved for both Simon and Strand as well. All of this has just been so much, and Alex hates what both of them have needed to go through because of fucking Thomas Warren and his bullshit.

When this is done, Alex hopes that Warren dies horribly, even if she's the one who has to end up killing him. It's not something likely, given the genre that there in and the fact that while Alex has stumbled into the middle with him, she's not the true center. Alex is Strand's friend, or she's his love interest (and honestly, back home she doesn't even know. Here she still doesn't know.) and neither of those roles end well when it comes to horror. One way or another, she's going to end up fridged, but Alex Reagan is going to make certain that her death means something. She's never one to go without a fight.

Her thumb rolls over his cheekbone as he rests his hand over it, and then she looks from Strand to Simon and then back again. Her voice is soft when she speaks, but being Alex it's also decisive as hell: "it's not up to me to accept your apology, Richard. The only person who can do that is Simon." At least when it comes to this anyway. Strand has hurt her (sometimes on purpose, and sometimes not but he definitely had) but not in the same way that he'd physically hurt Simon who was trying to help.

[bilocates]

Simon's not even the one Richard's hurt the worst. This is a long pattern of behavior for the man and one he's really going to need to get a grasp on before any of them can get any real work done. Fortunately back home Simon has made a point to exclude Richard Strand from any of his own workings, Alex can deal with that mess. Here he isn't so fortunate, and here he will absolutely hold the bastard accountable for his behavior.

As such, this display still didn't appear to impress him much, though Simon was typically difficult to read and especially so when he was being extra guarded. As he was right now. Simon wasn't gentle, Alex should know that fairly well by now. Because of that he wasn't about to jump on the reassuring Richard train, if that's what Alex wants to do that's her prerogative. For Simon's part while he was willing to drop his open hostility for the time being, he wasn't willing to accept that apology regardless of how rare they were. That only spoke of Strand's pride, not of whether or not he had any genuine intention to change.

Only action would prove that much. Words were empty without action, and in his mind often useless.

Instead he thinks it's time to hang up on this conversation, so to speak, and continue when cooler heads could prevail. "We should pick this up later." He suggested, or rather in Simon's flat way insisted.

Time to reflect.

Think about this, Richard, think about who you've become. What you've become. And do better. He'll be waiting in the meantime.