eyemind | Glimpses into the terrible future // Closed

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Glimpses into the terrible future // Closed

Who: Alex Regan, Richard Strand, and Simon Reese
What: Reviewing Season Three of The Black Tapes Podcast together.
When: Well into their trip post party planet, forward dated
Warnings: This will be a disaster

You know how Simon's terrible? He bluntly states the truth of others while obscuring his own. He skulks around like a cat, leaves cryptic clues, and haunts floor four?

Well, he hasn't dropped those habits. After hiding it for weeks he leaves a recorded version of Season Three on Alex's pillow one day. No explanation, no identification, but she'll know it was him.

Who else would it be?

Then he waits. She'll reach out.

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Alex had added to the collection of recorders during this trip, but she still didn't find one that had the same feel and weight in her hand that her one from home did. It was something that Nic had made fun of her for even before she'd dragged it through two seasons of the show and it's only gotten to worse at the battery and memory on it had waned. She'd come in toying with the latest one but it's too light and Alex just tossed it down onto her made bed where it bounced in an rather unsatisfying way. While it's own weight may have been unsatisfying, it knocked against something else that had been left on her pillow.

The only person in her life who would leave something on her pillow right now is Simon, but in the same way that a cat brings home a mouse and not something that's in any way romantic. Sitting on her bed, Alex twists the recordings between her fingers for a moment before she just gets up and heads downstairs. After everything with Nic back home, she wants to know what it is that she's getting into before she just starts listening. Honestly, it seems like the safest way to handle this.

Stepping out onto the fourth floor, Alex just frowns tightly when she's greeted by the same sort of shadows that had been there when she'd gone to talk to him before. At this point, she's aware that it's not like Simon isn't able to control this so she just sighs dramatically. "Alright, Simon cut the theatrics." Regardless of whether he does or not, Alex just heads to his room anyway with the recording in her hand.

Ah, she got his message. The gloominess in the hallway did lessen some, just for Alex. It wasn't nearly as oppressive and heavy as when she'd first come up and he had no control over it, now it just seemed like he was enjoying himself holding the atmosphere of haunted hallway in place.

It kept people largely out of there and left him to his privacy, which he preferred. Alex was probably one of the very few who were welcome there, as demonstrated by a lessening of the "haunted" feeling in the hallway. At least this time he wasn't turning the lights off on her?

When she did eventually make her way down she'd find Simon's door open to invite her in, he glanced up from whatever it was he was doing.

"Hello, Alex."

At least she got her customary greeting this time? He must be feeling better.

One customary greeting earns another in a way that feels very familiar now: a new normal that all of them need to adjust to. They honestly don't seem to be adjusting to things all that well, but that's for her to think about later. "Hello Simon." Once she shuts the door out into the hallway, Alex can help but to gesture towards the hall filled with creepiness and bad vibes. "Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit, Simon? I mean it's not like being aboard the ship can be bad enough without needing you to go all haunted mansion about it." Yes, it's far less serious that it should be considering how all of it settles into her stomach when she moves through it but that's what she does: makes a bad joke about it.

But that's not the reason that Alex has come down to see him and they both know it. At some point, Alex knows that she should at least make the attempt to try and put some boundaries between Simon and his stalking but in some ways that's the part that feels the most normal and accepted from back home. Back home, Alex Reagan was slightly paranoid--maybe more than slightly--but she knew she was being watched as much as she didn't want to admit it. Some of the watching was Simon, but if it was only Simon things would have gone a lot different than they had now.

Holding out the recorder-like thing in her cupped hand, almost like she was making some sort of offering in a church. "What is this, Simon and why did you leave it on my bed?"

These little familiar traditions were about as close to normal as they were going to get. Simon would do something cryptic to get Alex's attention, she'd respond, and they'd greet as they always did. It functioned as something of a thermometer at the same time, to gauge how well they were getting along at any given time. Business as usual.

He looked amused at her jokes. "I like my privacy," He did manage to secure most of the hallway to himself after all. "So does my neighbor." So now it's not just for Simon, but someone else reveling in the spooky.

"I'll try to tone it down for you next time." He does offer that much more softly, it's not like he wants to freak Alex out. Just everyone else. As for why she was there, this time Simon didn't press. They weren't in a hurry, and they were waiting on the third member of their home team.

"You didn't listen at all?" Has Alex Reagan developed a sense of caution? He's impressed, and worried. "Dr. Strand will be here soon." That would be cryptic Simon code for he's not explaining until they're all there.

Edited (Phone typing) 2021-07-07 03:39 (UTC)

Richard is not happy.

At least he slept, he's forming his own patterns and thinking very carefully about how to proceed. They're in this, he and Alex and yes, even Simon. Fine. Now to pursue his ends, to actually find out what Coralee was talking about and despite the absolute foolishness...

Creeping dread, cold, cold and flashing darkness

Of using something in his DNA. Foolish.

Something is very wrong here.

Richard has dressed nicely in one of the suits he's acquired since arriving here, but there's no tie or collar. He looks at them both, wary.

"What do you have Simon."

He sounds spooked.

Alex doesn't need any newly discovered abilities to see the storm clouds on Strand's face. She can see how not happy he is, and Alex is reminded of how he's been so many times over the course of the show. But in all of that time, and the hundreds of hours that Alex had spent working with him, she had never heard him sound spooked before. Honestly, even when the two of them were being kidnapped by his missing and presumed dead wife he had sounded exactly like himself.

The fact that he's so spooked doesn't bode well for any of this and Alex knows that part. "No," Alex admits carefully. "I didn't think there was a good idea until I knew what it was." Which maybe a difference from home (it kind of definitely is a difference, but that's because the ship is definitely an entirely different beast than back home and all of them know it.) but one that makes sense considering that they still don't know what letting people aboard the ship listening to the show will do. But of course, there are some suspicions that she has because of the nature of who Alex is and what it is that Alex does so her eyes just go wide and she bites her lower lip.

At least she doesn't need to get Strand to come and listen to this with her, because he'd already showed up on his own thanks to that whole psychic powers thing. "Is this..." Alex starts and stops before she tries again. "Are you telling me that this is season three? And that it's like actually our season three?"

He can feel something radiating off of it. It's...he doesn't know what it is but staring at it he looks at Simon. He can't read what's in his voice anymore the pressure on his head is steady like a pounding drum.

He's grateful to NAVI. He hates NAVI for unlocking his part of him.

"Yes Simon." Richard is razor focused, "Is it our season 3?" It is, it has ot be, nothing would feel this crazy, this powerful.

Simon really couldn't resist trying to shake Strand, and looked unusually pleased with himself when the man arrived looking troubled. Spooked of all things. It isn't every day Simon gets to play it up and yes he took advantage of the situation to see what he could get away with. It worked. He drew Alex in exactly as he knew that recording would, and going extra on spooking up the hallway did the job of drawing in Richard. Frankly, he was damn proud of himself over this maneuver.

He'll grow more sober once they settle in and get underway, but they do have to give him some credit this one was flawless. Of course he had to accentuate the situation by wearing an absolutely tasteless shirt. He's awful, the worst little gremlin. And yet... it all worked. Alex guessed it right off the bat, as he knew she would.

"Yes," A beat or two before he elaborated. "Or, at least, half of it." It was only six episodes, which was strange. But it was enough to give them a better idea of what was going on.

And yes, Simon's been sitting on this for weeks.

Alex rolls her eyes at the shirt that Simon is wearing, because she can't not but also she's pretty sure that Nic is probably going to purchase her the shirt at some point if it exists. Or she'll purchase it for him; there's just way too many cults around both of them for either of them not to own it. Simon at least doesn't have their hipster sense of irony. Probably anyway. She doesn't think so. Maybe if they spent a few more months away from the world back home where he doesn't have the pressure on him like they all do there.

"How long have you had this? Since we were on planet?" There's a puzzled sort of hurt in her voice that Alex can't keep out of it because of the way that she'd never have sat on it. But then again, if there's one thing that Simon is good at it's sitting on information that Alex Reagan finds it important to have. The next thing out of her mouth is a question that she already knows the answer to: "and you listened to all of it that's on here? And it's true? Like it has you going to find the Horn of Tiamat?"

Which is something that Alex hadn't told Strand. W h o o p s. Her bad, but also there's a reason that Alex has kept it secret even if she doesn't know why.

"Wait, you know where it is?" His eyes go wide and he moves forward, glaring at Simon then Alex in turn, "You-" Of course they know, they know about the thing that kept his father up at night, the one object he wouldn't impress upon his son.

He has to calm his breathing as he points at Simon, "You know where it is? Do you know?" Do-

No, "What secrets have the two of you been keeping from me?" Besides the usual. Besides all of it.

Little did Alex know Simon was absolutely wearing it ironically. He thought it was hilarious, even if perhaps he didn't fully understand the concept of Hipster irony the way she and Nic did. It wasn't that difficult a concept.

Simon did have the decency to look very slightly cowed by the hurt in Alex's voice at her accusation. "I had to be sure," He explained. It wasn't the whole truth, but it was part. Simon would never risk giving her bad information, even if he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to give this to them at all. As they'll soon discover he was absolutely putting himself in the fire for this. At the same time it was imperative to do it right, and this time he was determined to make sure Richard actually listened rather than allowing him to sit on it for months.

He doesn't get to choose the pace alone anymore. For the moment he ignored Richard's outburst, resisting the urge to bare his teeth and instead just stared at him flatly and defiantly. You wait your turn, and your turn is always after Alex's. "Yes," To both questions. "It's accurate up to what I remember. To what I know but haven't told you yet in the time I'm from. So I can only expect the rest is true."

As for Richard's demands Simon simply reaches out to tap the recorder on the table and slide it toward them. The answers are there, they need only listen.

"It wasn't hers to tell." He spoke quietly with a very faint hint of threat in his tone. The lights flickered, just slightly, a warning that Richard was in his territory right now and Simon wasn't against putting him on the floor again to make his point.

"Stop it. Both of you." If there's one thing that Alex is sure of in this situation, it's that there's no way anyone at home (but especially one Nicodemus Silver) would believe that she's the one who is behaving most like an adult here. Hell, Alex can't believe it herself half the time but it doesn't make it any less true. Someone has to be an adult and it's clearly not Strand and Simon is still a kid--which Alex would still consider if he was eighteen even without his history of being locked up--so she's kinda stuck with it now.

"It wasn't my secret to tell, Richard. Simon is right about that. But also he didn't even know if he had gotten it. Besides, would you even have listened to me about it before you'd listened to the show?!" Alex knows that he wouldn't have and they would have ended up here anyway. Just like they were now, only instead of verging on a fight, they would actually be in one of their usual aboard Navi knock down drag out fights and Alex is so tired of them.

But Simon also isn't getting away with things that easy. "And Simon if you want Richard to believe you're something other than a deranged murderer, you have to not act like one to him! Yanking his chain like this isn't going to help anyone and it definitely doesn't help me! We're all on the same side here and if both of you want to be on my side then you both need to act like it!"

Alex pauses and counts to ten. "So Simon's going to stop and Richard's not going to storm off. All of us are going to" fucking "listen to this." Fucking "Together."

Alright, Alex mad and that's fair enough. She doesn't know the context, she doesn't know why Simon's been as hostile as he has been toward Strand. Probably thinks it's jealousy or something, but he's not that petty.

No, this is personal.

Simon regards Strand for a long time, weighing his response. He'd never told her what happened and she didn't ask, but if Richard was going to keep playing the victim then now was as good a time as any.

"That depends," He began, staring Richard down in challenge. "Can you control your temper, or are we going to have another incident?" He used that word on purpose, echoing the way Richard wrote off his own responsibility with what happened. Simon didn't care about an apology, he cared about Richard keeping a handle on himself. As he was, he was a danger to them all.

Richard has to stop and think - mostly he's angry. He's angry about Simon trying to break him, trying to push him mentally. He doesn't like to be pushed. He doesn't like it when people push him or push others.

Especially over this ability. He does not want this, he does not want to be at the center of any of this, being stared down by a boy and when he says temper...

"Father please."

He has refused to cry so many times in front of his father but this is different. He wants to fight back, to attack him, This is about their family. This is Cheryl and Cheryl needs him. He's only 7, this isn't fair.

The belt hits the arm he's thrown up to protect himself. It hits him hard and bleeds.

"I can control my temper." His voice is dead and flat, "I'm not my father. Since you both know about that now. I-"

He lowers his gaze and his hands tighten, "I can control my temper. Can you not push me?"

Alex's frown deepens when Simon says 'incident' in that way, and she can't help but to look concerned. Neither one of me had given Alex the truth of what had happened then, so she asks a question knowing that it gives either of them the chance to answer the it (but somehow she expects it's going to be Simon rather than Strand.) "What incident? What are you talking about?" Alex has the idea of what the circumstances surrounding it were, but she doesn't know exactly what Strand had done to Simon and vice versa.

Whatever it is doesn't sound good at all. But as much as Strand has been angry with her and yes, both of them have a temper (the three if you count Simon) Richard's fights were always with vicious words. At least as far as she's known. Alex knows the truths of Strand's past like with the psychic but that circumstance had been extreme; she doesn't think this counts as extreme. At least she's hoping not anyway.

Something really messed up in bringing Simon when Alex was gone because the two of them didn't seem like they would get along considering how Simon said that Strand had thought of him as a delusional murderer.

Simon continues to look unimpressed, even bordering on angry. And while he's not doing any more of his "spooky" business with the lights it'd be fairly apparent that whatever he was talking about really genuinely bothered him. There wasn't much that typically much that could really get under Simon's skin other than prayer, and those who abuse children.

Simon might not be a child anymore, but he sure as hell wasn't going to tolerate being on the receiving end of Richard's violence and denial.

"Aren't you?" He asked, low and quiet and dangerous. You know what you did, Richard. You know damn well what you did. Simon had been careful to not broach the topic lest Alex ask too many questions, this was something he was trying to give Richard the opportunity to come clean about. It would seem that, once again, Richard couldn't be trusted to take the high road.

"If controlling your temper is contingent on your feelings never getting hurt, then it isn't really control, is it?" There's a venomous edge there, a bite. Think, Richard, think about how you act. How you conduct yourself when your ego is challenged.

"Father please."

"Howard! Howard stop!"

"Stay out of this. He has to learn-"

But something warm and soft puts itself in front of him and the whip-crack comes down on his mother's shoulder. She never hesitated to throw herself in his path. Howard would toss her aside except his hits, his fury, drew blood from her shoulder.

"Mama!" Cheryl is crying and he's crying too and all of that-

He can see it clearly in his mind's eye. His mother with her arms around a boy, cheryl screaming. He's seeing it outside of himself, seeing the scene of the four of them. It's a very vivid memory.

Except it's not him being hurt. He's looking furious, physically beating away things he doesn't understand, and it's Simon in his mother's arms.

The flood of emotion and betrayal from the younger man makes Richard sway as he puts his arms out, his gaze not drifting away from Simon. His breath beats fast and hard in his chest.

He is not his father.
He is not his father.
He is not-

You were never my father. Charlie snarls, You're a bastard and a monster.

His first instinct is to run but tears prick his eyes and he inhales. One breath, two, three, be calm. Maybe the cycle of violence never really breaks

Damn you Howard.

"...I-"

His head falls into his hands as he stands, "Simon has been trying to encourage me to use this...this..."

His hands gesture at his head. His deranged mutant monsterous visage You should have hit harder Howard. You should have killed me. Better that then this.

His voice is flat. Dead.

"Gift. I became angry. I became frightened and I lashed out and I hurt him. Badly. Just like my father hurt me when I tried to get him to open up to things he did not understand."

I didn't see it until now. He's thinking to himself, just to himself but loudly enough that anyone might hear, I didn't know that route behavior...or I did. I don't like being pushed.

Heedless of the two of them he moves toward the wall to lean against it, turning back and staring at them, but not at them. Through them. They're not there.

He can still feel it.

He can still see it.

There are scientific words for this and terms. It has to mean something. Or perhaps it doesn't. He just wants to sob but instead he doesn't take his eyes off of Simon. Stuck. Stuck in that loop mentally.

While Alex has never seen Strand looking that bad she’s seen him bad before and this reminds her of those long and silent moments after Coralee had left and he’d be making tea. She knows it’s not the same thing, not at all but it’s close enough that it’s worrisome.

It actually worries her a lot worse.

Alex looks to Simon, her eyes sad and full of apology. She’s apologizing without words (for the moment) for not asking what had happened to him when she should have. She’s apologizing because she feels like she’s been monstrous for asking Simon to help him. But perhaps most of all, Alex is apologizing for what she’s about to do.

Moving towards Strand, Alex steps between him and the way that he’s staring at Simon. Then she takes a step forward and another until she rests her hand against Strand’s cheek. Her voice is soft and her eyes are locked onto his own when she whispers. “Hey, Richard. Come back. You’ve got to come back.”

It's an admission. Acknowledgement. The faintest flicker of realization and reflection... that's really all Simon wanted. He didn't expect an apology, at this stage it would be meaningless and empty. What he needed was for Richard Strand to really see how his actions, his tantrums and his temper, affected those around him. Before all of this Simon could keep far, far away and never had to deal with it directly.

Now... now he wasn't so lucky. How could he trust someone who would turn on him in a crisis simply because he didn't like what he heard? How could any of them trust him to do what was necessary when the pieces all fell into place?

Finally breaking the stare down he was having with Richard he shot Alex a look and a faint shrug, he understood. She had enough to deal with she didn't need to get between their squabbling. But at least she cared. Too much, always too much. But... Simon wasn't going to make it worse. Now that he'd made his point he just fell silent, slumping back in his chair to watch the events unfold.

Ideally Richard would pull himself together and rejoin them to listen to what Simon had brought to the table, but he's going to let Alex handle that part herself.

"Simon."

It's not just Simon. It's Coralee. It's Alex. It's everyone he has ever hurt. His hand shoots out to grab at Alex's like a vice - but he drops it. Wrapping his arms around himself.

"I'm not -" No. He was. He was him. How could he move forward without getting rid of the ghost of the man he had become? That's what hurts the most. He can feel Simon's disappointment. He can feel him standing there and when he had a chance to be a good man, to do right by someone who needed him, he didn't take it.

How could he regain his trust.

When he reaches out for Alex his hand is gentle, "I was afraid. Alex I was afraid and I hurt him and Simon I am..."

I see you and you are just how I was when I was a child. I didn't mean to cause you pain. I am scared.

"I am scared and I am sorry."

Alex just looks at him and gives a soft and sad smile. The times that she's heard Richard Strand apologize, like really apologize she could count on one hand and not even use all of her fingers. An apology on not believing something had never occurred, but honestly Alex is relieved to hear it; she's not relieved merely for herself (because this isn't about her--at least not entirely--) she's relieved for both Simon and Strand as well. All of this has just been so much, and Alex hates what both of them have needed to go through because of fucking Thomas Warren and his bullshit.

When this is done, Alex hopes that Warren dies horribly, even if she's the one who has to end up killing him. It's not something likely, given the genre that there in and the fact that while Alex has stumbled into the middle with him, she's not the true center. Alex is Strand's friend, or she's his love interest (and honestly, back home she doesn't even know. Here she still doesn't know.) and neither of those roles end well when it comes to horror. One way or another, she's going to end up fridged, but Alex Reagan is going to make certain that her death means something. She's never one to go without a fight.

Her thumb rolls over his cheekbone as he rests his hand over it, and then she looks from Strand to Simon and then back again. Her voice is soft when she speaks, but being Alex it's also decisive as hell: "it's not up to me to accept your apology, Richard. The only person who can do that is Simon." At least when it comes to this anyway. Strand has hurt her (sometimes on purpose, and sometimes not but he definitely had) but not in the same way that he'd physically hurt Simon who was trying to help.

Simon's not even the one Richard's hurt the worst. This is a long pattern of behavior for the man and one he's really going to need to get a grasp on before any of them can get any real work done. Fortunately back home Simon has made a point to exclude Richard Strand from any of his own workings, Alex can deal with that mess. Here he isn't so fortunate, and here he will absolutely hold the bastard accountable for his behavior.

As such, this display still didn't appear to impress him much, though Simon was typically difficult to read and especially so when he was being extra guarded. As he was right now. Simon wasn't gentle, Alex should know that fairly well by now. Because of that he wasn't about to jump on the reassuring Richard train, if that's what Alex wants to do that's her prerogative. For Simon's part while he was willing to drop his open hostility for the time being, he wasn't willing to accept that apology regardless of how rare they were. That only spoke of Strand's pride, not of whether or not he had any genuine intention to change.

Only action would prove that much. Words were empty without action, and in his mind often useless.

Instead he thinks it's time to hang up on this conversation, so to speak, and continue when cooler heads could prevail. "We should pick this up later." He suggested, or rather in Simon's flat way insisted.

Time to reflect.

Think about this, Richard, think about who you've become. What you've become. And do better. He'll be waiting in the meantime.

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Glimpses into the terrible future // Closed

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CW: abuse

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