𝓓𝓻. 𝓡𝓲𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓭 𝓢𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓭 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
imarealistnotacynic) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
eyemind2021-06-03 10:47 am
imarealistnotacynic) wrote in eyemind2021-06-03 10:47 am
"I am become death, the destroyer of worlds" [Locked to Simon]
Who: Simon and Richard
What?: Richard post Alex Argument and 18 hours of listening to Seasons 1&2 of the black tapes.
Warnings: Drunkenness, yelling, talks of infidelity (possibly), talks of child abuse (possibly), demonology, witchcraft, black magic
The first time Richard Strand got black out drunk he was at Wayne's house and Wayne had swiped a bottle of his dad's Jim Beam. The two of them drank and Wayne made fun of him for being a nerd good naturedly and Richard who had been trying to help him with his homework laughed and called him an idiot good naturedly and then he'd cried about his mother and his father and how hard it was being the man of the house.
The second time he'd gotten black out drunk was in college and Amber Kowalski who would go on to be the mother of his daughter had apparently spent the evening making sure he didn't drown in his own vomit or piss himself or embarrass himself because Priest boy has a reputation to maintain.. That was when he'd commented about him not believing in God, about God never being real and she was an idiot for believing it. Three days later he'd moved in, one month later he'd knocked her up, nine months later she was dead because oftentimes maternal mortality in relation to childbirth just couldn't be avoided and he was a single father.
He did not like to get drunk and forget but he desparately desparately wanted to because he could not think of a single reason why Alex Reagan would fake any of that because otherwise how would she know about any of his transgressions and with the wounds of Coralee in his mind and of hurting Alex he wanted it all to go away.
He especially wanted the heightened sense of awareness to go away, he wanted his brain to stop telling him where she was on the ship, to stop telling him where everyone was, to avoid the image in his head of Tanis smirking at him kindly because one could smirk kindly he did (he thought he did).
The moment he senses someone behind him, expensive scotch in his hand, he licks his lips before growling.
"Go away Simon. I know it's you."
What?: Richard post Alex Argument and 18 hours of listening to Seasons 1&2 of the black tapes.
Warnings: Drunkenness, yelling, talks of infidelity (possibly), talks of child abuse (possibly), demonology, witchcraft, black magic
The first time Richard Strand got black out drunk he was at Wayne's house and Wayne had swiped a bottle of his dad's Jim Beam. The two of them drank and Wayne made fun of him for being a nerd good naturedly and Richard who had been trying to help him with his homework laughed and called him an idiot good naturedly and then he'd cried about his mother and his father and how hard it was being the man of the house.
The second time he'd gotten black out drunk was in college and Amber Kowalski who would go on to be the mother of his daughter had apparently spent the evening making sure he didn't drown in his own vomit or piss himself or embarrass himself because Priest boy has a reputation to maintain.. That was when he'd commented about him not believing in God, about God never being real and she was an idiot for believing it. Three days later he'd moved in, one month later he'd knocked her up, nine months later she was dead because oftentimes maternal mortality in relation to childbirth just couldn't be avoided and he was a single father.
He did not like to get drunk and forget but he desparately desparately wanted to because he could not think of a single reason why Alex Reagan would fake any of that because otherwise how would she know about any of his transgressions and with the wounds of Coralee in his mind and of hurting Alex he wanted it all to go away.
He especially wanted the heightened sense of awareness to go away, he wanted his brain to stop telling him where she was on the ship, to stop telling him where everyone was, to avoid the image in his head of Tanis smirking at him kindly because one could smirk kindly he did (he thought he did).
The moment he senses someone behind him, expensive scotch in his hand, he licks his lips before growling.
"Go away Simon. I know it's you."
no subject
"That's hardly important here," Still disgusting. "You're giving me a headache." So he'll give one back. Simon let out a disbelieving huff of a laugh. "Is that what you think happened?"
Idiot. Always missing the finer details. "Almost. It's better than your usual."
no subject
"I'm not going to prostrate on my knees before anyone." His lip trembles and he shoves the emotions away, "Stop attacking me. I was wrong. I'll tell her that myself. I-"
God.
"What do you want from me? What do you both want from me."
no subject
Yes yes, big drunk man very scary.
"No one asked. You accuse everyone else of making leaps, Dr. Strand. I think you've just mastered the art of projection." Simon moves to grab a chair, dragging it loudly as he pulls it over to flip around and sit on backwards where he can judge Strand more comfortably.
Closer.
"What do you think?" He can't answer for Alex, but Simon can answer for himself. He wants Strand to apologize to her, and he wants the bastard to stop lying.
no subject
He closed his eyes.
"I want - I need help with something before I can without being angry. Without slipping. She-"
She used me too, we're too alike, she's just -
"She's like me and I know what she did too and..."
Pause.
His voice is slightly slurred, "I don't want to hurt her"
no subject
Yes, Simon is absolutely going to force him to be clear in his intentions. Because Richard Strand has a tendency to manipulate. To lie, to obscure his intentions, to pull Alex's strings for his own benefit again and again. He put her in danger, she put him in danger, they're in it together now whether they like it or not.
Another rueful, scathing laugh. This one punctuated with a hiss, of claws threatening to rake over his mind to make the brewing headache so much worse. "Too late for that, Doctor."
no subject
"Can you make this gift go away? I can't think. I can't function. I don't want it. Please. Help me."
Don't make him beg.
no subject
It's a whisper, the lightest touch of disapproval and indignance. But... he lets it go, so Simon does as well. Even if he does idly reach out to steal the bottle from him. Yeah he's going to take a swig and just stare him down while he does it because just try to stop him.
"No," He offers finally, quietly. "Once the door opens, it can never be shut. You know this to be true." And yet Simon seems to function well enough. Slipping through the thin veil of a world barely there and the one they have more than one foot in like it's second nature to him. Or first. How has he achieved such comfort where Richard struggles to find his feet?
no subject
He glares at Simon, "stop it. There are always ways around this kind of thing. You know it and I do. I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm not that much of an asshole."
no subject
"When will you stop lying to yourself, Doctor Strand? How much evidence do you need?"
no subject
He inhales. He's not a teenager. He doesn't have to put up with this. He doesn't have to be a drunk. He's a grown up. He's a man damn it.
He inhales then inhales again.
"...More. Until I know what's going on." But the alcohol is hitting and at least it blocks out the fuzz, "Besides she knows I'm different now, so she can do what she wants with that. I'm used to being ostracized and if I'm like this then I need to be."
no subject
Too late. Too late for the drunkenness and too late to not come off as anything more than a petulant teenager.
Simon laughs, it's derisive and manic and he's clearly enjoying this. The lights flicker, an ominous lanky shadow just reaches into Strand's field of vision before flitting away again. Playful. Taunting. "Oh would you quit feeling sorry for yourself? It's disgusting. Poor Richard Strand, poised as the pinnacle of reason unable to back up his own claims any more than he can genuinely disprove any others. You're just as bad as them."
And now he's just taken possession of the alcohol. Flawless theft.
no subject
His vision is blurry, "I care. I'm just scared."
no subject
"Good. You haven't abandoned your humanity yet."
no subject
His head slumps and he struggles to hold it up, "...I'm not going to be this mantle of the dragon or whatever."
no subject
He distinctly remembers being intentionally singed because Richard didn't like what he had to say. That wrath, that anger, that's a lot to try to control. He's going to have to learn to get a better handle on it if he wants to be taken seriously.
"What happens when it gets louder?"
no subject
As much as I want people there, I can't. I never could. I never should.
"Please leave me alone Simon. Please. I'm very, very tired." He's not going to hurt anyone else. He's not going to mope through this, he is going to pick himself up and accept that he is going to fight this and that means not putting people into places where they can be hurt, by him or otherwise.
no subject
Because Simon just does what Simon will do.
He scoffs, shaking his head in exasperation. "You're an idiot. You're only alone because you push people away. Then lie to yourself and say it was always going to be like that. Alex deserves better than you."
no subject
Was the wrong thing to say.
Getting to his feet he slumps before he aims a fist at him, "Shut up. Shut up you ridiculous little shit. This is all your fault." Except his fist connects with nothing and he bares his teeth at the younger man, "I don't know her the way she knows me and if I'd known I would have treated her better!"
The tape. How he behaved and how she won him over and then how Coralee was there at the end of it.
Where was he? How did he cope with searching for her? Was there a point where he put everything together? Taking Alex along for the ride? How could he be that stupid? I'm not going to tell you which one of us asked for separate rooms.
His eyes are wet and red as he glares at Simon,"...I don't know what you want from me either. Just tell me. Or leave." He'll just live in his room. He doesn't need to go out or socialize. He has books. He can bury himself in his research. And he'll garner more. Just like Chicago.
Richard turns to put his head in his hands and give himself over to emotion.
no subject
"No you wouldn't," Simon drawled lazily. "You never did. And this isn't my fault, Dr. Strand, you know that. You reap what you sow." Richard has built his walls on lies and arrogance. Walls without a solid foundation that have begun to crumble under the weight of his ego.
Simon doesn't move, but he does seem to smile. A smile without mirth, all sharp teeth and malice. "I want to watch you destroy yourself for how you hurt Alex," He wants justice. He wants to watch Richard in pain for what he's done. Again he sighs in disgust as Richard just dissolves. Really? This is why you don't use alcohol, it makes you a mess. He drums his fingers loudly on the table, mulling over the pathetic scene.
She'd be angry with him if she knew how much he was enjoying watching this.
"Do you want to know how to make it stop? I can show you."
no subject
He snorts, then pauses, "Or help me get rid of this ridiculous background static in my head?"
no subject
"The static." Blocking out the background noise is arguably the easier one to learn. Granted maybe that was just so because Simon never silenced his abilities and forgot.
no subject
"What do I have to do." He tries to focus, "Is it drink more?"
no subject
"Sober up. I'll come for you later." He's going to do it the spooky ghostly way, and Richard's going to hate it but you know what? It works.