event } the honk is coming from inside the ship

[seeingyou]

WHO: Everyone left behind on Navi.
WHAT: There’s a goose on the loose!
WHERE: Anywhere on Navi.
WHEN: Feb. 20-March 13
WARNINGS: Add these to your comment subject lines as needed! And if the goose pecks through your skull, please make sure to fill out the death page.

Those of you who haven’t been swept off to a hell dimension may find that Navi is … unusually empty. Those links you had with your partner? It’s like they’ve just been shut off with the flick of a switch. Weird, right?

However, Navi’s halls are not exactly quieter for the emptiness. At first, you might think you’re imagining it, but soon enough, it becomes evident that there is something else on board this ship and it honks. The honking is intermittent, but it never truly ends for good. You’ll hear it through the walls, outside your cabin doors, on the next floor - everywhere.

After a few hours of this nonsense, Navi reaches out to the passengers via the mental link and asks them to find the source of this infernal noise and round it up so it can be ejected from the ship. It’s driving Navi nuts, they can’t tell where the honking is coming from, so they can’t take care of it themselves. It won’t be easy, because this goose is wily (and an eldritch being, technically), but it needs to be handled, and there’s no one else around. Good thing you’re still here to help!

Comments

[exlibrisharry]

"How do you know it wouldn't?" If Jack was right and this was some sort of special space goose, maybe it has lasers for eyes or some equally dangerous ability. If it's just a regular earth goose, then what's the problem? People hunt geese all the time. "I'm not saying torture it, I'm saying take it out. None of you have dealt with geese, have you?"

He leveled an unamused stare at Strand. "Trust me, the absolute last thing you want to do is get familiar with a fucking goose. It didn't work for me, it won't work for you."

More like a scar. Simon appears to be the only one on his side here and he eyes the strange man, sizing him up. (As usual, he sizes up larger than Harry.) "That geese are evil little bastards at best and supernaturally evil little bastards at the worst. I don't know about you guys but I have no patience for that shit."

[sisterswitch]

“Supernaturally evil,” Jack repeats, then laughs. “Man, I’d ask who hurt you, but I guess that’s obvious.”

She’s not even going to get into the #notallmonsters argument right now. Supernatural isn’t synonymous with evil, but there’s something a little more pressing at the moment.

“Look, I’ve been on this boat for months, and I don’t know any of you, so how about we all be kind, rewind to some introductions. You can even throw in your grimdark origin story! I’ll start - I’m Jack, and I do not approve of animal cruelty. Next?”

[exlibrisharry]

"Congratulations, you discovered I had a traumatic experience with a goose. Do you want a round of applause for figuring this out? Or are you going to laugh in vegan?" Harry refuses to back down on this. No one said anything about hashtags or synonyms, but he will forever attest that geese are just the worst creatures imaginable.

He draws a tiny letter opener from the breast pocket of his shirt, frowning as he sees how brilliantly it's reflecting the light -- or glowing, depending on your view -- before tucking it back where it came from.

"I'm Harry and I stand by what I said. You know nothing about geese."

[sisterswitch]

Harry's level of pressed about this goose has actually become entertaining in the past few minutes, so yeah, Jack laughs again. "Not a vegan, sweetie - I'm a witch. Also Sagittarius with Libra rising, but please, do not interpret that as a come-on, because I am really getting tired of explaining to dudes here that I'm extremely gay." She smiles at him, saccharine-sweet.

That fancy glowstick Harry whips out is a pretty interesting development, but Jack continues without missing a beat: "I do know how to make a pretty bitchin' vegan curry though, if anyone here is vegan. What's with the Lite Brite?"

[bilocates]

"..."

As riveting as the back and forth between Jack and Harry was, Simon didn't exactly understand the point nor the humor behind their snarking. Nor the necessity of most of what was being discussed. They were giving him a headache, and honestly he wasn't sure which was worse them or the goose.

One of those things he could, however, do something about. And since handing out warning seizures would likely be frowned upon he picked goose. Without choosing to engage or acknowledge further Simon just...

Walked off.

Y'all can sort yourselves out he has something to take care of.

[exlibrisharry]

Harry's initial reaction to Jack's response matches Simon's, and for a second he doesn't pay attention to the other man. "Yeah, I totally couldn't tell you were a witch from the pendulum thing. And oh no, you're gay. There go my chances. I guess I'll just have to stay married to my awesome gorgeous husband since I can't get with you." He rolls his eyes.

Simon slinks away and Harry follows him with his gaze, frowning. "Hey, what're you doing? Don't you want to take this goose out?"

[imarealistnotacynic]

"We're not killing the goose." Richard interjects, "We're not going to kill it. Everyone just - stop - whatever it is..."

Did people forget he was there? Here he is, still annoyed at everyone, "Arguing is going to get us nowhere."

[sisterswitch]

Sorry, Richard, the real people are talking so yeah, you've been more or less forgotten.

"So you agree," Jack says to Harry, leaning into the table conspiratorially, "heteronormative society is bullshit? So you can't really fault me for trying to nip that nonsense in the bud, considering how often it's already happened to me on this boat."

Simon walking off sure is a thing that happened, huh. Jack can't say she's terribly surprised, given his whole weird demeanor, even though this is the first time she's ever seen him. And since he declined to introduce himself, she'll just have to make up her own name for him.

"Looks like Lurch has officially left the party," she remarks to no one in particular, and sits back in her chair, wearing a faint smirk. Richard is the only one so far who sides with Jack on the murder front, so she's a little more inclined to cooperate.

"Nobody has an actual strategy for this little quest, right?" She glances up at Richard, since he's still here and not verbally sparring with her.

[imarealistnotacynic]

"WE need to stop that young man from killing the creature first." Richard holds up a hand, "Other strategies to get the goose before he does are...welcomed and needed."

His lips press together before he gestures after him, "I can get behind it if someone will get a sheet to catch it."

[exlibrisharry]

Harry cants his head, unsure why Jack is saying this like a gotcha. "So you're countering people assuming you're straight by assuming everyone else is straight. Is that working for you?" He's about to say something about hoping her pendulum's more accurate than her gaydar when Richard's insistence makes him throw his hands up in exasperation.

"What's wrong with killing the goose?" Harry demands. "Why are you so weirdly protective of that asshole bird? It's evil! And a normal one is Tiny Tim's Christmas dinner!"

[bilocates]

Simon actually prefers that no one has decided to follow, because you know what? It's much easier to psychically murder a goose without a crowd. Somewhere down the hallway the lights flick off, just for a moment...

And Simon's gone. Because screw you guys he's gonna find this goose himself. He's a strong independent murderer and he don't need no guides!

[sisterswitch]

"Wow," she answers Harry, tone thick with sarcasm, "thanks for mansplaining my own experience to me." She gives him a slow, deliberate golf clap for emphasis. "Really nailed it."

Jack shakes her head; she's about the same level of done as Simon. She picks up the makeshift pendulum - turns out it's a necklace - and unclasps the chain, then re-clasps it around her neck.

"Tell you what," she continues, closing up her notebook and rising from the table, "you jokers have a great time with your literal wild goose chase. I'm gonna go see if I can dig up an audio file of 'Yakety Sax' to play over the intercom. Have fun storming the castle!"

And with that, she turns and heads for the door. Bye, Felicias.