There was that look again. He knew that one. The one where something really was wrong and they weren't connecting on what it was. There was a missing piece that he didn't either know, or understand and the way that Mello started angling himself toward Matt made it feel all the more serious. He straightened up a little bit, not moving his arm from the comfortable back of the seat but at least angling a fraction more himself to give Mello more of his attention.
He opened his mouth to say something and wasn't quite sure what to say. All the best that he was quiet because Mello was speaking again. Speaking again and Matt wasn't sure what to say now that he had the time to say it. Wait. "...Killed?" he asked softly, shifting a little uncomfortably in the seat he was in. He didn't remember being killed but if he was dead, that meant Mello died after him? Logically it made sense. If Mello was saying at least the detail they got right was them dying...
Then Near, too? "I don't..." He paused, his eyes flipping a few times between Mello's hands and back up toward his face. "I don't remember being killed, Mello." Maybe that was for the best if Mello was telling him he had been. "Or dying... but you have nothing to gain from telling me I died."
Or that, technically, it was Mello's plan that got him killed? "I wouldn't..." he shook his head, trying to bring his eyes to Mello's and met them at least a little while longer than he had, "I don't remember it. Are you su-- stupid question. We're all dead here."
Shit. So he really was dead. "I uh..." he seemed to be coming to grips with it, swiping his tongue at his bottom lip and fidgeting a little in his seat. Mello wouldn't have sent him in if he knew, right? He was saying he wouldn't. No, he wouldn't have anything to gain by seeing Matt die and the distraction would end at that point. "I believe you. I just don't remember dying. How... How did I... you know. Die?" The sound of his voice was shallow, low and like if he didn't say it loud enough-- "Wait... I'm not the reason you're dead, am I?" Never mind himself, if he had gotten Mello killed, then that was unforgivable.
no subject
He opened his mouth to say something and wasn't quite sure what to say. All the best that he was quiet because Mello was speaking again. Speaking again and Matt wasn't sure what to say now that he had the time to say it. Wait. "...Killed?" he asked softly, shifting a little uncomfortably in the seat he was in. He didn't remember being killed but if he was dead, that meant Mello died after him? Logically it made sense. If Mello was saying at least the detail they got right was them dying...
Then Near, too? "I don't..." He paused, his eyes flipping a few times between Mello's hands and back up toward his face. "I don't remember being killed, Mello." Maybe that was for the best if Mello was telling him he had been. "Or dying... but you have nothing to gain from telling me I died."
Or that, technically, it was Mello's plan that got him killed? "I wouldn't..." he shook his head, trying to bring his eyes to Mello's and met them at least a little while longer than he had, "I don't remember it. Are you su-- stupid question. We're all dead here."
Shit. So he really was dead. "I uh..." he seemed to be coming to grips with it, swiping his tongue at his bottom lip and fidgeting a little in his seat. Mello wouldn't have sent him in if he knew, right? He was saying he wouldn't. No, he wouldn't have anything to gain by seeing Matt die and the distraction would end at that point. "I believe you. I just don't remember dying. How... How did I... you know. Die?" The sound of his voice was shallow, low and like if he didn't say it loud enough-- "Wait... I'm not the reason you're dead, am I?" Never mind himself, if he had gotten Mello killed, then that was unforgivable.